My Korean Host Mom's Kimbap: A Delicious Interruption to a Saturday Spent Stressfuly Forecasting the Future

I spent all of today forecasting the future (a.k.a. planning my activities for the next year, researching grad schools and law schools in the U.S. and around the world, looking up requirements for fellowships in order to attend said grad or law school, and considering other jobs after finishing up my second year teaching in South Korea). This activity has been absorbing much of my time lately. It helps keep my mind awake at school and my heart hopeful. It is at once liberating and exciting (in the sense that I am reminded of my youth and my privilege in being able to entertain so many different paths to take), and, at the same time, frustrating and just a bit crippling (in the sense that I, ultimately, don't have that much control over life). 

After several hours of feverish researching and planning and jotting down notes and hoping, I would pause, blinking back my eye fatigue, and sigh at the ridiculousness - and, perhaps, even vanity - of my life schemes. These seconds convict me - figurative gavels ringing loudly in my ears. 

I was so focused on forecasting my future that I had forsaken breakfast and lunch, not even noticing it was well into the afternoon until my host mom knocked on my door and hand delivered these plates to my room. 

"Mimi, handmade!" she said proudly. 

I received the plates gratefully, suddenly aware of my hunger, and sat eating each piece of kimbap with a dizzy satisfaction atop my bed. 

Room-delivered homemade kimbap. What kind of life is this?!

Host mom had arranged the kimbap so deliciously that I couldn't bear to just go straight to eating them!

Host mom's special recipe on watermelons

Sweet and sour deliciousness; refreshing taste and so perfect for the increasingly hot Busan weather!

Once satiated, I had time for a longer pause and braved asking myself the questions,

"What is driving you to these mad planning/scheming/forecasting sessions?" 

and

"Have you forgotten God's faithfulness over the years?"

Stop whatever you are doing and remember! Remember where you have been and where you plan to go; remember the One who promised to never leave you nor forsake you on this journey. Stop and just be still and know that He is God. You don't have to do things on your own, by your own strength, or even through your own merit. That is the beauty of leaning fully on Christ Jesus!