"Homesick for Busan City" Even Before I Leave My Amazing Placement

REMINISCING 

Nearly two years ago when I first arrived here in South Korea, I remember never having even heard of the city of Busan, where I would be placed in, and where I would ultimately spend all this time living and teaching and exploring. Since then, I have grown to absolutely love this city! It reminds me so much of Davao, Philippines, and Seattle, Washington, where I have spent a considerable amount of my life before ending up here. It was a foreign place but, once I arrived, it felt oddly and wonderfully familiar. 

Out of curiosity, I reread my blog post about the day I found out I would be coming here: July 30, 2013's Placement Ceremony. Just, wow. I feel so blessed that, though I didn't get what I thought I wanted, I ultimately got what I didn't even know I needed. Part of this was being placed where I believe I would have the most impact. Of course, I didn't do everything perfectly - not in my lesson plans, my working relationships, my homestay life, not in my dreams of traveling far and wide and studying the language to achieve proficiency. But it is through experiencing my limitations more acutely here in Korea that I have faced the tremendous and painstaking challenge of...extending grace to myself. 

Note to Current and Future ETAs: 

Please Be Kind and Gracious! 

To Yourselves, Too!

Your time here is limited. You may spend one to three years of your life here (more if you really fall hard for the country like some Fulbright Korea alumni), which is not that long in the greater scheme of things. Before you know it, you will be like me - sitting in the gyomushil at work, clipping two-years' worth of front pages of your city's local tourism-focused newsmag, missing your placement hardcore while simultaneously cringing over the pain of using scissors! 

DYNAMIC BUSAN

"Twice-monthly newspaper of Busan Metropolitan City, Korea" 

I stayed in school for 12 hours today, yet only taught two 50-minute classes, so I was in dire need of a project. I had saved up every issue of Dynamic Busan since I arrived at my school, (with the intention of eventually doing something collage-y or artsy with the fantastically vibrant landscape shots of the city), so today was a day of sorting through the mountainous pile on my desk, cutting up the main photos and date stamps on the front covers, and browsing through the rest of the newspaper for photos of places I had been at or events I had experienced. This is what my late afternoon/ evening consisted of. 

Sookhee took note of my large-scale newspaper cutting but apparently already guessed the reason why I was bent on such a project. She asked me just to confirm over dinner, and I explained that I was doing this because I would miss Busan so much! She nodded her head, and said, "I knew it" 

I arranged the cover photos by date. I am missing only two issues: November 2013 and April 2015! Where have these issues gone?! My collection will not be complete :(

I was really not paying attention to much of the written pieces, but I randomly stumbled upon this short opinion piece. It's written by one Sohail Jannessari, who, like me, also greatly appreciates the city. It made me feel better reading this knowing that I wasn't the only one who "fell in love with a city two continents away from my home." I suspect that the inexplicable sorrow he experienced when getting on his plane to go back "home" will be something that I will be experiencing in less than two months...

Thoughts on Transitions and Goodbyes and Feeling Like Joseph & His Robe of Many Colors By the Way My Former Principal Treated Me

THE MANY SHADES OF "GOODBYE!"

Most people who say, "See you later!" or "Let's catch up sometime" do so just as another polite and friendly way to extract themselves from a chance meeting-gone-too-lengthy and say "Goodbye" (without so much of the finality an actual goodbye entails). I have noticed this mostly in the Western world, and have adjusted accordingly in the years I have lived in the States.

However, here in South Korea, when someone tells me they want to "see [me] later," I have found they literally mean it. Like, the next day, I will receive a text asking  when I am available for lunch or coffee... that week. And then a follow-up text asking where and what time. I like this clear-cut, to-the-point, action-oriented interpretation of the above-mentioned phrases more!

My host sisters and students don't believe me, but I truly, absolutely adore the Principal's traditional Korean outfits. They're loose, elegant, and, yes, old-womanly-looking, but so cool! The only problem is they are also way out of my price range :/

I mention all of this because, right before my former principal left Yeongdo Girls High School to move on to her new 4-year appointment at another school, she invited me to come and visit her there. She seemed really genuine and eager when she gave this invitation in all-Korean (thanks to my co-teachers for translating), but I reverted back to my Western way of interpreting these parting words, and, though I could feel that the sentiment was definitely there, I didn't think she actually expected me to follow through when I said "Definitely! I will come to see you there!"

Fast-forward a couple of months and Park Mi Sook bujangnim invited me to come visit our gyojang seonsaengnim along with a handful of other teachers. She reminded me that the principal was especially fond of me and that my presence there would make the trip more meaningful as most of the teachers who are going to visit will also be leaving their schools after this year. Just like me. (It turns out, this see you later is just an extended formal goodbye). But did I want to go? 

OUR BELOVED FORMER PRINCIPAL 

We're talking about the Principal who would come in to the gyomushil to check on each teacher and give my hands a worried squeeze when she heard the terrible gravity of my winter cough; the woman who would give me extra pocket money for Fulbright's Fall Conference in Gyeongju and Spring Conference in Jeju, and the same one who gave my first-ever YDAC team a generous day allowance on top of what the U.S. Embassy in Seoul was already covering. The same principal who gave me gifts for my birthday and for Christmas, and wrote me an adorable New Years card, complete with personal artwork decorating the envelope! We're talking about this Principal, who, contrary to what I had believed, didn't do this for the other teachers at my school. (Feeling a bit like Joseph and his robe of many colors but - thankfully! - my co-teachers are far from being like jealous siblings).

FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH THE PRINCIPAL 

Since I have been remiss in posting regularly unlike my first month here in Korea, here are some Facebook posts to catch you up!

3/7/2014 | School admins with Michael Horn

12/24/2014 | Scarf and leather gloves from Principal
Sookhee: "The Principal really loves you!"

8/25/14 | Hogan Medlin, YGHS Fulbright ETA 2011, visiting!

1/9/15 | Principal congratulating the students who earned
YGHS its second First Place YDAC win!

And because we're talking about this Principal, I was definitely going. 

VISITING OUR BELOVED FORMER PRINCIPAL

Me: [asking co-teachers in genera] What should I bring? 

Sookhee: No, you don't need to bring anything. 

Me: Really...? What about a small gift or a card? 

Sookhee: [always making sure that I'm not "burdened" by anything] No, we've already got a gift for Principal. Other teachers pooled money and bought a gift already. 

Me: Oh...err - 

Sookhee: -But you don't have to worry about that! Principal really loves you. You just bring yourself and she will be happy!

Me: [thinking I would at least write a card] Okay, sounds good!

Mi Sook Bujangnim: Mimi - may I suggest you write a card for the Principal? I think it's a good idea

Me: Yeah, that's no problem, bujangnim!

KOREA ART & DESIGN HIGH SCHOOL

The entrance of our Principal's new high school. Sookhee translated that the Principal is only two years away from retirement but, unlike what most people expected she would do, she is not taking these last couple of years lightly. She's bent on revamping the curriculum of this arts and design-focused school so that its students can be as competitive as possible when it comes to university applications!

Gradually meeting up with teachers. Some came with watermelons, and others carried boxes full of plants in fancy earthenware 

There were four of these mini ponds in the mini park in front of the school. The shock of water and green plants was soothing to my eyes. It also helped me recover a bit after feeling motion sick in the back of my co-teacher's car

The Principal's warm welcome. She ushered us into her office, where she updated the teachers about the great tasks that are in front of her in this new school

Heading from the school to a restaurant to eat dinner together! Jeong Eun Ju Seonsaengnim had a prior appointment and so left the six of us to dine together

I was told there would be fish broth but, it turns out, the broth was made of powdered fish. I basically spent the whole meal waiting for the "real" fish broth to come out...

The rest of the group walking way ahead on our way back to the school as Park Mi Sook Bujangnim proudly shared some of her daughter's fashion designs with me on her smartphone

It was about 7:00 p.m. when we finished dinner and arrived back at the school. It took us another 30 minutes to get back to YGHS. I like this picture, capturing the Principal's face all lit up at our having visited her :)

Knowing that Jeon Mi Soon Gyojang Seonsaengnim would have a heck of a time translating my English writing, I asked Sookhee to translate my "short"-message-turned-kind-of-long on the other side of the card. She gave a disclaimer that not everything would transfer smoothly to Korean, but seeing her handwriting on the page a few minutes later was like witnessing Hangeul magic. I didn't care as long as the gist was on the page. Sookhee is the best!

TRANSITIONS ARE ROUGH FOR EVERYONE
My hope is that Jeon Gyojang Seonsaengnim would accomplish all the good she is setting out to do for the students at this school, and that her doing so will not leave her exhausted and depleted but even more charged with energy and life! I didn't account for this apparently rougher transition she would have in the card I gave to her. I kind of assumed that, after a couple of decades or so in the Korean education system, the transitions would be a piece of cake (for her and anyone). Perhaps it becomes easier, but I suppose a transition is still a transition.

I have less than two months left in this country, so my head is definitely full of thoughts concerning goodbyes and transitions. Seeing how much I love this country, my job, and my life here, the coming days are going to be rough. [Deep intake of breath] Very rough...

MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, My Korean Host Mom Jenny is Serving My Host Dad Steve and I Fish for Dinner...

Photo from http://trendsontrends.com/, a website about homecooked meals that actually makes me want to cook

MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, my host mom Jenny is serving my host dad Steve and I fish for dinner. The two of them silently and spontaneously engage in a mild competition to outdo the other in being an awesome host parent to me.

ME: Wow, fish!

JENNY: Oh, you like fish?

ME: I love fish!

[In any other context, I would have just dug right in, but, wanting to maintain a semblance of civility, I gingerly start picking at the fish to remove the bones with my chopsticks and spoon. Clumsily but civil-like]

[Jenny, looking very pleased, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a pair of scissors. She carefully begins to cut the delicate fish into tinier pieces. And, much to the amazement of her husband, starts removing the bones for me. By hand]

ME: Ohh, thank you, Jenny, but you don't have t-

JENNY: -No, it's okay! No problem, no problem!

STEVE: Wow, Jenny! My wife! My wife so kind! 

ME: I know!

STEVE: No, Jenny is...uh...more kind NOW. She - she doesn't do this thing before! Even to me! Woah, Jenny, so kind! My wife so kind! [He pats his wife appreciatively on the back]

[As Jenny laughs and looks sheepishly about, I begin to realize just how special my treatment is in their household. We continue to eat. And then, suddenly, Steve gets up from his chair, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a cup of hot yuja cha for me]

STEVE: [in the sweetest tone] Here, Mimi. It is hot! 

JENNY: [Looking at Steve] Wow! Steve...My husband...[Addressing me] He never does (!)...to me! 

ME: ...he never does....this thing?

JENNY: Yeah, he never does...this thing. My husband is so kind, too! 

ME: [trying to continue eating amidst internal laugh attacks] Yes, both of you are amazing! Thank you so much! 

JENNY: [still looking amazed] He never does!

[Our hearty and prolonged laughter is only interrupted when I decided to continue eating, picking the fish eyes this time]

JENNY: OH OH...! You...eat? You eat fishy eye????????

ME: Yes! It's one of the best parts! [and, as if it would help melt their disbelief, I offer] My grandfather was a fisherman. We ate EVERY part of the fish - except the bones, of course

STEVE: Oh my gahh. Oh my gahh...We never do! [His shocked face slowly begins to register "impressed"] Good, good! Mimi, good! 

JENNY: Korean people, uh, Korean people...we NEVER eat fishy eyes!

Needless to say, this particular meal will likely stay in our minds for a long time to come.

Coaching a YDAC Meeting While Sick & Almost Being Sent Home By My Own Students & Having a Late Christmas Dinner at Deacon Lee's House

A SHOUTOUT TO 유자차 (YUJA CHA) DURING WINTER

I no longer have classes, so my whole day today was free! However, my chronic cough has set in in full force and much of my free time is actually just spent indoors in pajamas and a robe. I wander from my bedroom to the kitchen and back, heating water in jibsanim's cute teapot and making 유자차 (yuja cha), lemon tea, for myself 4-5 times throughout the day. This hot cup of citrus-y goodness makes me feel as if good health is within my reach; however, in reality, the amount of sugar in this yuja cha is likely negatively affecting me in some way. 

YDAC MEETING A DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

I got out of bed and got dressed to go to school, doing my best not to step on the landmine of used tissue scattered across my floor. Even though it's the day after Christmas, my YDAC students and I had set up a meeting to smooth out our speech outline for the conference. (If they had had their way, we would have also had a meeting on Christmas Day. I, of course objected). We had a lot of work left to do, so, as much as I wanted to stay at home, I knew nothing would get done if I didn't do my part of coaching them through their ideas and editing their drafts. 

I arrived to find them lively and busily poring over their own drafts. It seemed I may have overestimated the importance of my role...

My team of 5 girls posing with some cute stuffed animal. I didn't have one as I was busy setting up the camera. My students nearly went mad searching for the perfect stuffed animal for me before we could take the next shot. Seriously, how cute are they?!?

Nevertheless, they were as honest and sweet as ever because, when I arrived, this exchange promptly took place, reenacted on my Facebook wall as follows: 

MEANWHILE, in Yeongdo Girls High School, I arrive at school for a YDAC meeting, coughing and sneezing:

Student 1: [with concern in her voice] Teacher, you better - err, you had better go to home

Me: Oh...Why? I just got here!

Student: Because you don't look well

Me: Really...? But I put on make-up today... :(

Students: No, no! Teacher, not your face. Face is okay

Me: ...but you said I don't look well...

Student: Face is okay. But your health is not well.

Me: Ahh...You are all so kind!

And then I gave each of them lollipops for their sweetness :)

GOING TO DEACON LEE'S HOUSE FOR DINNER

It must have been around 8:30 p.m. when we finished. Russel texted, inviting me to a dinner at Deacon Lee's house. I was very hungry, but was quite reluctant to accept because of how late I would be arriving (around 9:00 p.m.) and didn't want to hold them up.

I need not have worried.

When I finally accepted, and arrived there by taxi, the men were already fully immersed in their favorite pastime of eating. Jibsanim's sons were there, and his wife was bustling about making more food for them to eat. She also bustled my way and gave me food. Strangely enough, my intense hunger seemed to have shrunk my appetite because I could hardly finish the small bowl of rice and soup she gave me! It was nice to see their family, including Russel, together for the holidays.

I sat on the table using a chair while the men sat on the floor. I didn't want to break into the seeming spell they were in. I just sat back, did my own munching, blew my nose here and there, and enjoyed the atmosphere of...family.

Ah...I miss coming to this house

Gwan Jibsanim super busy cooking and serving her family! It is her habit to not eat until her family has eaten. Older Korean women really go above and beyond

Classic Shin Jae face

Jibsanims opening their gift. (They only got a Christmas card from me :/ - But, hey, it was personalized!). Personalized Christmas cards are pretty cool, too *cough*

The deacon and his wife admiring Russel's Christmas gift for them 

...like REALLY admiring

I think David Jibsanim likes it! He is touched...

I insisted on taking a family photo after dinner and before Russel and I left. Shin Yeong had already, apparently, fallen asleep though so this photo is not quite complete. 

THE HEALING PROPERTIES OF GOOD COMPANY
David and I had time to catch up a bit about how my family is doing back home. I shared some updates with him before leaving to go on a walk with Russel and calling it a night. Though I was more tired than ever after this interaction, I noticed I actually felt a lot better having been around people than other days when I would choose to stay at home and "get better" all by myself.

THANKFUL THAT CHRIST IS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN
I'm thankful for the blessing that is this family, and hope that God rewards them for the service and sacrifice they do at the church, especially on behalf of foreigners like Russel (whom they treat as a son) and me. When I think about the temporary nature of our stays in South Korea, I am even more amazed by the love people like David and his family show to us because they know from the very start that our stay is relatively short.

We will not be around in a year or two or three, but they still choose to invest in us. They still show us the best that their country, culture, and food has to offer. They pour their time and energy attending to our needs and fling the doors of their homes wide open so we would feel welcome. I love Korea most for the people who, like David, has shown me that, as a Christian, I have family anywhere I go.

Christmas is not so bad even when away from your own family when families like that of David's embrace you and remind you that family is anyone who shares your faith and love for Jesus Christ!

Celebrating Korean Alphabet Day (or Hangeul Day) by Eating at Hurgsiru in Gijang, a Traditional Korean Restaurant Famous for Its Sulfur Duck

Holy Joy Center's English Service at Gijang posing by a 350-year-old tree!

CELEBRATING A COUPLE OF HOLIDAYS IN OCTOBER

Today, South Korea celebrates the 568th anniversary of the invention and proclamation of its extremely scientific Korean alphabet, otherwise known as Hangeul Day. I am growing quite fond of Hangeul and, without realizing it, have even begun to use this alphabet to write down notes in Visaya, Tagalog, and English. Pretty neat, I know...

Since this is a national holiday, students and teachers alike had the day off (Hooray for another holiday!). Last week featured a three-day weekend, thanks to National Foundation Day, and, though it might seem like I am getting spoiled by all these holidays, the next one is set to be on December 25th, Christmas.

NEEDING A BREAK, NEEDING A BREAK, NOT GETTING A BREAK
After what has been an emotionally-taxing last couple of weeks, I was particularly set on just staying home and relaxing. Alas, like other times, this was not to be.

While at church last Sunday, I overheard the deacons making plans for an English worship service all-day event. It was going to be a time of bonding! A time of eating! And drinking (coffee or tea)! And road tripping! It was going to be very exciting.

Except I didn't want exciting. 

I wanted relaxing. 

I didn't want to do.

I just wanted to be.

THE PERFORMANCE NEVER STOPS

Weighed down by various considerations here and back home, I was extremely reluctant for what was looking a lot like an all-day performance in affective display. I was already doing this all-day-performance-in-affective-display thing in the workplace, in front of tens of co-workers and hundreds of students, 5 times a week, and 8 hours a day; days which consisted of my thoughts crumpling past, present, and future issues into one unwieldy and likely madeopseoyo roll of kimbap. Before I turn the corner, I had forcedly swallowed this metaphorical kimbap and, in the name of professionalism and for the sake of my students, had pasted a smile on my face.

I'm a teacher, afterall. 

This is essentially part of my job description. 

However, in other spheres in my life, I wanted and expected a break. I wanted to be at a place that remained stationary; to be around people who I didn't need to pretend to be okay in front of. That or just to be in my bedroom, tucked under my increasingly-thickening covers with the lights off. 

Nobody coerced me to go but the multiple urgings and reminders and special looks from different people all made it clear that I was to be nowhere else but in attendance. So I went, not wishing to offend or disappoint anyone. 

The following is a photo story of this day. 

HURGIRSU SERVING SULFUR DUCK IN GIJANG

We took two vans and a car, with Russel and me riding in Pastor/Professor Gabriel's car with his family! Here, you see his beautiful wife and daughters checking out a huge pumpkin and other vegetables growing around the Traditionally Korean-themed restaurant. Probably my favorite photo of the day before my phone died 

INTRODUCING MY SWEET KAYLA
This is the adorably smart, dimpled, and curly-haired Kayla, Professor Gabriel's older daughter. She adores me and stuck by my side throughout the car ride, the meal, and our exploration of this place, as well as the car ride back home. Half-joking, her mother commented to me before we headed to the restaurant that she had come to terms with the fact that,

"Today, I am not her mother." 

ON TRADING IN YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER, ON LEAVING YOUR FAMILY BEHIND

I giggled, remembering the few times during my own childhood when  I had respectfully attempted to temporarily trade in my mother and father for another set of parents or family. At 4 years old, I clearly remember reassuring my mom that I would be back shortly (a week or so, or even within a couple of days, if she was lucky), and to please not forget that I was Mimi, their daughter. My mom would help a little as I very-independently set about trying to fold and pack my few possessions in a tiny plastic bag. Regretfully-yet-eagerly, I waved goodbye to my mom as I ascended the stairs to our neighbor's house, a floor above ours. She would wave back, increasing my sadness at having to leave home. 

Within a matter of a few hours, our good neighbors would return me home, agitated and in denial of the fact that I had been crying for nearly my whole sojourn due to homesickness, and too proud to actually return home on my own when I had been so willful in leaving. 

All of these childhood memories flooded my mind in a second with no introduction, no conclusion, and certainly no transitions.

From the driver's seat, Prof. Gabriel turned my direction in the backseat and reported that Kayla always talks about me. 

Prof Gabriel: Just this morning, she said, "Daddy, Daddy! Mimi is SOOO beautiful!" 

Really? Just out of nowhere?

Just out of nowhere!

Hmm. Cool!

BEING THOUGHT OF AND BEING THOUGHT WELL OF, THESE ARE HUGE!
I squeezed Kayla's hand a bit and smiled straight ahead, not wishing to make the little girl feel embarrassed. Her daddy's report cheered me immensely because she had not said it to me directly, to compliment me. She had just said it as a sort of morning declaration (or at least this is what it appears to me, hehe). And while it certainly doesn't hurt that Kayla thinks I am beautiful, I was more touched by the fact that this little girl thinks of me and, not only that, but also thinks well of me. Accurate or not, she believes the best in me and expects the best of me. 

The rest of the ride (and the rest of the day) was easier after hearing this simple thing (thanks Prof!). 

The girls gathered water from this basin. In the hot, noonday sun, the shimmering water in the basin looked enticing. I crouched down about to get a handful of water to splash on my forearms when I noticed a dead earthworm at the bottom.

Hmmm, no thanks!

For some reason, the kids seemed blind to its presence, so, in an effort to help preserve their carefree play, I didn't mention it (though I did keep a careful eye on any child who would attempt to drink the water). *Shudder*

Ariel, Kayla's younger sister, turned 5 today! We carried around a cake for her, but had to wait until later in the afternoon to sing her Happy Birthday. She was in good cheer all day, except at one point where she had gotten lost and tumbled back into the area where the rest of the adults were still eating, crying and clinging to her mom.

Once again, memories flooded my mind. The little girls are reminding me a lot of my own family, and childhood, and - I will spare you the details.

The famous Sulfur Duck served with a large pumpkin! This was very delicious!

A view of the outside. Such a sunny day!

Ariel dispensing gum to any and everybody who asked for some

Enjoying each others' company as we prepared to take a group photo under the shade of a 350-year-old tree!

 Deacon Yu assisting his father towards the rest of the group

 The beginning of our walk around the restaurant grounds (it was not an ordinary restaurant)

Where they store all kinds of ingredients for cooking!

Rounding a corner to find this view

Old kitchenware and appliances

I love these hanging vegetables!

Ariel looking cute running around and playing with her sister

Entering a building with some merchandise for sale, and a slew of artifacts on display

Hey, these look familiar!

Kayla liked being rocked on this rocking chair. Unfortunately, it's rocking capacity was extremely limited due to design and placement. We visited a mini zoo (yes, there was even a mini zoo attached to this place), and the kids had a great time harvesting nearby leaves and feeding them to the guinea pigs and rabbits - in complete violation of a sign that said not to feed the animals...(In my defense, the sign was in Korean, erm).

FEELING "AT HOME" WITH SOMEONE
I did not get the relaxing Day Off that I wanted, but I welcomed the ebb and flow of memories of home that today brought, as well as appreciated the time I had to create more memories with the little girls. It's amazing how one of their facial expressions (lit with happiness or tear-streaked with distress) can take me back in one snap of a finger. On the way home, Kayla fell asleep beside me, pressing uncomfortably against my left ribcage, but so comfortable- and peaceful looking while she slept in the crook of my arm that I couldn't bear to move her.

I hope this girl will always feel at home with me and around me! Today has been a blessing, sore rib cage and all.