Thursday, March 19, 2015

MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, My Korean Host Mom Jenny is Serving My Host Dad Steve and I Fish for Dinner...

Photo from http://trendsontrends.com/, a website about homecooked meals that actually makes me want to cook


MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, my host mom Jenny is serving my host dad Steve and I fish for dinner. The two of them silently and spontaneously engage in a mild competition to outdo the other in being an awesome host parent to me.


ME: Wow, fish!

JENNY: Oh, you like fish?

ME: I love fish!

[In any other context, I would have just dug right in, but, wanting to maintain a semblance of civility, I gingerly start picking at the fish to remove the bones with my chopsticks and spoon. Clumsily but civil-like]

[Jenny, looking very pleased, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a pair of scissors. She carefully begins to cut the delicate fish into tinier pieces. And, much to the amazement of her husband, starts removing the bones for me. By hand]

ME: Ohh, thank you, Jenny, but you don't have t-

JENNY: -No, it's okay! No problem, no problem!

STEVE: Wow, Jenny! My wife! My wife so kind! 

ME: I know!

STEVE: No, Jenny is...uh...more kind NOW. She - she doesn't do this thing before! Even to me! Woah, Jenny, so kind! My wife so kind! [He pats his wife appreciatively on the back]

[As Jenny laughs and looks sheepishly about, I begin to realize just how special my treatment is in their household. We continue to eat. And then, suddenly, Steve gets up from his chair, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a cup of hot yuja cha for me]

STEVE: [in the sweetest tone] Here, Mimi. It is hot! 

JENNY: [Looking at Steve] Wow! Steve...My husband...[Addressing me] He never does (!)...to me! 

ME: ...he never does....this thing?

JENNY: Yeah, he never does...this thing. My husband is so kind, too! 

ME: [trying to continue eating amidst internal laugh attacks] Yes, both of you are amazing! Thank you so much! 

JENNY: [still looking amazed] He never does!

[Our hearty and prolonged laughter is only interrupted when I decided to continue eating, picking the fish eyes this time]

JENNY: OH OH...! You...eat? You eat fishy eye????????

ME: Yes! It's one of the best parts! [and, as if it would help melt their disbelief, I offer] My grandfather was a fisherman. We ate EVERY part of the fish - except the bones, of course

STEVE: Oh my gahh. Oh my gahh...We never do! [His shocked face slowly begins to register "impressed"] Good, good! Mimi, good! 

JENNY: Korean people, uh, Korean people...we NEVER eat fishy eyes!

Needless to say, this particular meal will likely stay in our minds for a long time to come.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Renewing ETA Profile (AKA Reflections on My Year(s) Teaching in Korea)

THE RENEWING ETA PROFILE HANDBOOK
Just this afternoon, our Program Coordinator sent out a giant email containing application forms for leadership positions next year within Fulbright Korea. Yes, we've just returned from our winter vacations, but it's that time of the grant year again! Included among the many attachments was the Renewing ETA Profile Handbook, containing the knowledge, experiences, and insights of, well, ETAs who are in their second or third year here. The aim of the handbook is to help first year ETAs decide whether to likewise renew or not.

Because I tarried in submitting my survey, my responses were not included in the handbook. However, I did save what I typed up, (thinking I would later post them up here), and want to share them with you here now with some modifications.

SURVEY: LOGISTICS STUFF


Current School Name and Location: Yeongdo Girls High School, Yeongdo-gu, Busan
Current School Demographics: All-Girls
Did you change school demographics after your first (or second) year(s)? No
Did you change placement locations? No
Do you currently live in a homestay or apartment? Homestay





SURVEY: SHORT RESPONSES PORTION



What factors were relevant to your decision to renew? 

I chose to renew based on a wonderful first-year experience. The families, friends, and communities I formed during my first few months of arriving in Busan went to extraordinary lengths, above and beyond their job descriptions, to make my stay here smooth, comfortable, and delightful!

Because being a "Fulbrighter in South Korea" was only supposed to be a one-year commitment for me before diving right into grad school, I did touch base with former professors and counselors to hear what they had to say. The response was a resounding: Yes! Go be young, and live your life now! Grad school won't be going anywhere! (or something to that effect). This, along with the fact that my family back in the U.S. were doing well further encouraged me to invest another year in growing in a different setting.


How has your current year been different from your first (or previous years) as an ETA? How has it been similar? 

I enjoyed every aspect of my first year enough to request renewal at the same city, and same school! The advantages of staying were numerous, including: being able to witness the evolution of my students from first graders to second- and, now, third-graders(!); forming deeper bonds with the students, co-teachers, and administrators at my school; strengthening ties with a slew of foreigners I met at a couple of English services in Busan; and becoming better acquainted with the beauty of the island I live in, and with the rhythm of life in Busan - a place I would find more and more reasons to love.

The only change I made was in choosing a different homestay with which to live. My first homestay family was a great blessing! However, I saw how hard my host mom worked around the home and, with her continued insistence in doing everything for me even as she was recovering from a back surgery, I chose to leave, not wishing to pose a greater burden on her and her family. I also considered the fact that, for the whole year, my two younger host sisters had slept on the living room floor just so I could have a private room in their household. My stay with this family showed me firsthand how one can be "burdened" by the kindness and generosity of others.

My second homestay is made up of educators (host mom is a middle school English teacher and host dad is a statistics professor) and so feels less like "family" and more like colleagues. However, the advantage of this living situation is that my host mom (having also lived in the U.S. for 11 years) can speak English well, giving us the opportunity to have long, drawn out meals where we talk about anything and everything under the sun.

Has your second/third year met your expectations? Please elaborate.

My greatest expectation was to form better and deeper relationships with folks I live, work, worship, and hang out with. This goal has been (more or less) realized. I am satisfied with the friendships I have formed and been able to maintain, but have been a bit disappointed because some of the original friendships that had made this particular placement so ideal for me at the beginning have dissolved into thin air.

I can relate to another Returning ETA, who wrote:

"While I don't regret my decision to renew because it has forced me to grow in many ways, if I knew how much would change (even when I was staying in the exact situation!) I probably wouldn't have renewed."  - Stacey

Other goals I had were to earn a black belt in Taekwondo (thwarted by the onset of chronic cough in winter); to continue working with North Korean Defectors at the Busan Hana Center (check); to step up my YDAC game (check); and to apply for fellowships and graduate schools (the last application having been sent while hospitalized during my recent trip back to the Philippines for winter vacation). No big deal...


What advice do you have for first-year ETAs deciding whether to renew?

In deciding to renew, it's important to remember that you are not the only variable in the equation. I speak from personal experience when I say that family back home who may be doing "well" now financially or health-wise, may not be in a matter of months. If you are privileged with the responsibilities of being the eldest child in a [single-parent] household like I am, you will do well to consider the state of affairs back home before extending your teaching contract.

Also keep in mind that your decision to stay [at the same homestay/school/city for whatever ideal situation] does not necessarily mean things will remain as they are. That is the nature of seasons, of relationships, and of the Korean education system.

If you stay, decide to be present. As teachers, we are in the business of investing in young lives with the hopes they will become future world changers. Knowing this, if you do decide to renew, be fully present and do as Mrs. Shim has always told us: "Love your students!"

Believe it or not, a huge part of loving your students (or anyone, really) well is in taking care of yourself. Stay healthy, maintain your joy despite what your circumstance may look like; maximize the hours you are not teaching (legend has it that the former ETA at my school wrote a novel during her "down time" and later published after her grant year); and remember that, despite how it may feel sometimes, you are now living in "the real world."

Oh, and if you decide NOT to renew, I definitely agree with another ETA's advice who said to:

"...make sure...you have something good waiting for you back home, in Korea, or elsewhere." - David

You can contact me by email if you have unanswered questions or other concerns: mcagaitan[at]gmail.com
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