HAHA! But Seriously Though...How Are You Holding Up With the Break Up?

PREVIOUSLY ON FACEBOOK....

Sister: HAHHAHAH. 

          You're too funny man

          but seriously though...how are you holding up with the break up?

Me:     I have no idea!

          I am fine on the outside

          But I feel like I'm not letting myself feel a lot of things right now.

Sister: You look great on the outside

Me:     Why, thank you 

Sister: Everyone thinks so too

Only a sister could laugh at your jokes one second and then call you out on - no, blow right through - your cover the next.

ENTER G-DRAGON IN "CROOKED"

Photo creds: kppopstarz.com

My day yesterday started out innocuously enough. There I was at work, searching Youtube for a catchy song to help wake my students up at the beginning of class when I stumbled upon this song: "Crooked" by South Korea's G-Dragon. 

It was all over for me the moment I clicked on that iconic red-and-white Youtube play button. I sat in the English teachers' office, transfixed and absolutely terrified in a beautiful and painful and powerful and devastating and drawn-out kind of way. 

I had no idea what the song was about (and neither did it occur to me to look up the lyrics - hello), but the crazy, careless, concentrated, and dazed energy of the song (combined with the violent and hopeless intensity of the actual music video) resonated with me. Surprising, especially since I don't even like this type of music and am only just beginning to appreciate K-Pop.

My chest felt like it was going to burst with so much pent-up emotion and energy so I screamed (on the inside). 

On the outside, I was still calmly sitting in the teachers' office, legs crossed, posture erect, fingers poised on the keyboards,  - completely sober, emotionally-speaking. But the scream inside was so physical, so visceral, and so drunk with the explosive and the indescribable that I had to literally take my ear phones off and check myself.

I didn't actually scream, right? Right. 

And the other teachers didn't hear a thing?  

Silence, except for the constant though irregular hum of keyboards. Okay. Outside everything was okay. 

Inside, I was a picture of G-Dragon walking, running, stumbling around the streets of London, wishing I could wreak havoc like he could, pick fights with strangers like he did, and growl at the world like he growled at the camera.

Unfortunately, while it may be somewhat permissible (some may argue even endearing) for G-Dragon to try and find some emotional comfort by peeing on walls and playing with his rocking horse all day (because he's G-Dragon and he can do whatever he wants), my process has to look a bit different from his since 1) I am not a K-Pop superstar 2) I don't own a rocking horse 3) I don't fancy peeing on walls standing up (or otherwise).

Oh, and I'm a Fulbright Scholar teaching high school English to over 300 young women in South Korea.

My process is different but, really, quite simple: to nap (aka to avoid feeling anything by knocking myself out through sheer mental and physical exhaustion), and to keep calm (and not miss a beat in being awesome).

I was doing phenomenally until I saw this video. And realized it had been exactly a month since the break up.

I have said this before and I will say it again: Someday, I will have a much more grand [love] story to tell - not just to other people, but to myself. I am in the process of completely re-writing the script and, honestly, it's not going so well with all the napping that I'm doing.

This is me processing now, and I appreciate you for bearing with me.

I am being transparent about this area in my, yes, personal life because, apparently "everyone" is under the impression that I look good on the outside (which is basically true but...), but this has been a tough year for me, regardless of what the year may look like on social media. I knew this going into my grant year. I just didn't know I would have to do the processing through lesson plans and K-Pop songs.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Did you watch the music video? What do you think of it?
How do you deal with your emotions? Does the way you deal differ depending on whether or not you're in a private or public sphere?

How would you complete this statement: "Keep calm and __________" that applies specifically to what you need to hear right now?

Exploring A Small Section of Seomyeon, Busan with My Fellow ETAs

On our third weekend in Busan, some of the ETAs decided to spend an afternoon together. I spent an hour and a half getting lost on my way to Seomyeon, and was thankful to find Monica, Anna, and Ray patiently waiting for me at the station. 

This is our afternoon together:

What better way to announce the dynamic-ness of Busan than to have large, imposing signs like these everywhere?

I almost got hit by multiple cars taking this picture, so appreciate it for the miracle that it is.

I am still not quite sure how to make this subway station map beneficial to me, but it looks very organized and helpful, doesn't it?

We spent some time at a PC-bang (?), where we sang songs and played racing and fighting games - most of which I lost.

Seomyeon is bigger and more overwhelming than Nampo

There are also a ridiculous number of clothing stores underground that I must go and explore another time!

Afternoon light

We wandered around for a bit before settling inside a restaurant, where we shared a big meal together. It was delicious and filling! Monica and Anna gave Ray and me some random knowledge about ETA-related business in South Korea in general and Busan in particular.

All the lights

After dinner, the rest talked of doing more things together (perhaps seeing a movie, or getting dessert!), but I wistfully informed them of my 9:30 p.m. curfew, and, (judging from how lost I had gotten on the way from Yeongdo to Seomyeon), I had to make every allowance to head back as early as possible. Like 7:30 or 8:00 p.m. early. 

They wondered that I would keep such an early curfew; I agreed that it was early, and also expressed that keeping it was one of the ways I was establishing jeong with my Korean family. They understood. In no time, the four of us were back underground, and the three of them shepherded me to the appropriate subway line, gave me hugs, and promised we would all meet up again. 

My Students Learning About the 50 U.S. States Through Song & Games

Top: Class 1-7. Bottom: Class 1-8

On my first year living and studying in the United States, my 5th grade teacher (Mrs. Neil) taught the class the "50 Nifty United States" song. Memorize the song, and you memorize the names of all 50 states. This was a difficult song for me to master, but it was catchy enough, and we persisted for some time until we reached the point where each student was prepared to do a state report.                                                                  Mine was on the state of Arizona. The report I had to do for Arizona asked me to conduct internet research for the first time. The process of creating this report forever endeared me to the state - one which, even now, I have not traveled to. Nevertheless, the revelations and suffering I endured to create and write up my state report gave me a kind of special stake on this state unknown to me. I became invested through my various interactions with the U.S. states in general and with Arizona in particular.                                                                 My goal this semester is not only to teach English, but also to help my students understand their personal and/or cultural stakes when it comes to their ties with the U.S. My goal is that, one way or another, they will find a reason for learning English so uniquely personal that they will take away something that will similarly linger with them for years to come.

I recognize that, because of their currently limited language ability, I will not be able to have too deep of discussions on U.S. history, politics, and/or culture with my students. However, I can offer basic knowledge (on U.S. geography, for instance), and hopefully pave the way for the future educational and cultural journeys they will take as global citizens. 

Students asked to number from 1 to 10 and write out the U.S. states in alphabetical order. Spelling must be correct to get full points.

Students may or may not be given to cheating during this exercise. 

I started this mini unit on U.S. Geography last week. I have been giving them five states to learn/memorize each week, thus the 10 states the students are writing on the board for the second week.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Do you have a favorite teacher? Who? What kind of impact have they left on you? Is there a particular lesson they or any other teacher gave that you still remember to this day? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Exploring Chinatown in Busan with Ray, Another First Year Fulbright ETA

There are a number of Fulbright ETAs assigned in Busan this year, but Ray and I are the only first-year English Teachers. I can still remember the feeling of absolute delight as we slowly but finally realized that we would be spending a whole year living and teaching in Busan. We agreed to explore the city together once we arrived. 

This is a photo story of the day we explored Chinatown, not far from Busan Station. 

This is Chinatown, literally across the street from Busan Station

We were originally going to take the Busan City Bus Tour but, due to the weather, decided to save that for another day, and just explore the area

To get to Busan Station, I had to take the 508 Bus. The commute was about 40 minutes. My host family was worried I would get lost around the city since this was my first time traveling on my own. I shared the same worry with them, thus the many photos of signs and directions (just in case I get lost). Fortunately, I didn't get lost, and found the bus ride pretty straightforward!

It was drizzling outside, so we decided to duck inside the station and look around. Here, we have photographs of Busan's beauty on display.

The station to the left. This is the back-side of the station, which faces the water

More of the city from Busan Station

This is what Yeong Island looks like from where we were at. There was light rain and strong winds pummeling us outside.

Ray and me posing in front of the station, and right before we headed over to Chinatown for what would turn out to be the rest of the afternoon

Welcome to Chinatown. This area was quite small, and only a few people were milling around as we circled once, twice, thrice - countless times while talking

The color red was everywhere

More red, not surprising in Chinatown

After hours of walking, we stopped and rested here - still discussing the many places we would explore, and the places we've been to before and the people we've met.

I noticed this sign and got very excited. It would take us another three to four hours to notice that we're deep inside the Red Light District.

Ray's high school is near Chinatown, so it was only a matter of time before we ended up running into some of his students (he teaches at an all-boys high school).

We made sure to visit one of his favorite shops because the owner loves him

This wall was so educational, so fascinating!

The sky looked like it was on fire. This was probably after the fifth or so time we circled Chinatown. We grew hungry and searched for a place to eat.

In a moment of rare decisiveness, I pulled him into a Filipino restaurant. We ordered chicken adobo and tilapia cooked in coconut milk, which surprised me both in their deliciousness. This was his first time eating Filipino food, and said he really enjoyed it! 

As dusk took over the city, another side of Chinatown emerged. Since Ray's back was to the street, I was the first one to see the women walking around outside in short shorts and skirts, club dresses, and high heels. They seemed to emerge out of nowhere, materializing in front of the stores around us, sashaying about, waving people in. Once in a while, Ray would look over his shoulder, and see the foreigners - men and women, but mostly men.

The revelation that we had unknowingly walked all afternoon around the red light district of Busan was both amusing and disturbing to me. How unaware; how self-absorbed.

Most of the women I saw outside were not Koreans. They were women from other parts of Asia, including the Philippines. There was something indescribable in my heart clamoring to express itself. I had spent the whole afternoon talking yet, at the end of the day, I had no words to describe the weight I was feeling.

Receiving a Manicure from My Host Sister's Weekends-Only Nail Shop

I woke up from my nap after church and found my host sister meticulously painting her nails in her room. After she was satisfied with her nails, she sat me down and offered to paint my nails as well.

She explained that this was "Juhyeon's Nail Shop," available only on weekends because she was busy with school the rest of the week. I nodded my head to signal understanding, but couldn't help laughing at her adorableness.

A Short Tour of Holy Joy Center's Picturesque View Overlooking the Water

STRUGGLING TO STAY AWAKE DURING SERVICE
I came out here after the message to wake myself up, gulp down some fresh air, and lean out against the railings to get a better view of the water. It was a perfect sunny day, with only white puffy clouds dotting the blue skies.

This view looks away from the island and towards the rest of Busan

GETTING BEAT UP BY ABNORMALLY STRONG GUSTS OF WIND
I didn't expect the wind to be so intense. It beat me up in the few minutes I stubbornly refused to back down and take cover inside. When I was finally awake enough to join the rest for refreshments and conversation, it felt like my face had been slapped raw.

I turned my back on this view, content that I had seen a beautiful day, had struggled against a mighty invisible force, and had ruminated partially on the message, and largely about why I was there.

Let's just say I am still very much adjusting to the pastor's different preaching style here.

I don't mean to twist the knife, but I am not the only one struggling to stay awake. When I have dared to look around, some of the adults are out like a light: asleep, with their heads down, and chins tucked against their chests.

You can see Lotte Department Store across the water, as well as the bridge that connects Yeong Island to the rest of the metropolis

CONSIDERING CHECKING OUT OTHER CHURCHES
During these moments, I think: I don't have to go here! There are other churches around. Next week, I will go and see how they are. 

Even though this is only my second week of attendance, an irrational sense of loyalty has already taken a hold of me, and I cannot help but feel a twinge of guilt when I consider checking out another church in Busan. My great reluctance is not because of my attachment to the church itself (though everyone has been absolutely kind and welcoming to me), but because of the great lengths Sookhee and my host parents went to arrange this opportunity for me.

...OR NOT - I WILL GIVE IT TIME
Because of this, I will certainly give it time, give myself time. I will keep going. My aim is not to be entertained at church, but to spend my energy getting to know God instead of using most of it to merely stay awake.

Korean language class after church service and fellowship 

Yes, it's a three-to-four-hour church day, Mimi, but it's only an hour of service. For crying out loud, stay awake!

LEARNING KOREAN OUTSIDE OF JUNGWON
One of the women from church is a Korean professor, who gives free Korean language lessons after Sunday fellowship. Wonderful lady. She even brought us bound copies of the same Korean textbook I used during Orientation, making it very convenient for me to continue learning the language, should I find the time, will, and energy.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Have you ever nodded off during a public event? What do you do to stay awake, especially during a church service? Is there an experience that makes you feel alert and alive that doesn't involve leaning against the railings of a very tall building with the wind pummeling you in the face? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.