Renewing ETA Profile (AKA Reflections on My Year(s) Teaching in Korea)

THE RENEWING ETA PROFILE HANDBOOK
Just this afternoon, our Program Coordinator sent out a giant email containing application forms for leadership positions next year within Fulbright Korea. Yes, we've just returned from our winter vacations, but it's that time of the grant year again! Included among the many attachments was the Renewing ETA Profile Handbook, containing the knowledge, experiences, and insights of, well, ETAs who are in their second or third year here. The aim of the handbook is to help first year ETAs decide whether to likewise renew or not.

Because I tarried in submitting my survey, my responses were not included in the handbook. However, I did save what I typed up, (thinking I would later post them up here), and want to share them with you here now with some modifications.

SURVEY: LOGISTICS STUFF

Current School Name and Location: Yeongdo Girls High School, Yeongdo-gu, Busan
Current School Demographics: All-Girls
Did you change school demographics after your first (or second) year(s)? No
Did you change placement locations? No
Do you currently live in a homestay or apartment? Homestay

SURVEY: SHORT RESPONSES PORTION

What factors were relevant to your decision to renew? 

I chose to renew based on a wonderful first-year experience. The families, friends, and communities I formed during my first few months of arriving in Busan went to extraordinary lengths, above and beyond their job descriptions, to make my stay here smooth, comfortable, and delightful!

Because being a "Fulbrighter in South Korea" was only supposed to be a one-year commitment for me before diving right into grad school, I did touch base with former professors and counselors to hear what they had to say. The response was a resounding: Yes! Go be young, and live your life now! Grad school won't be going anywhere! (or something to that effect). This, along with the fact that my family back in the U.S. were doing well further encouraged me to invest another year in growing in a different setting.

How has your current year been different from your first (or previous years) as an ETA? How has it been similar? 

I enjoyed every aspect of my first year enough to request renewal at the same city, and same school! The advantages of staying were numerous, including: being able to witness the evolution of my students from first graders to second- and, now, third-graders(!); forming deeper bonds with the students, co-teachers, and administrators at my school; strengthening ties with a slew of foreigners I met at a couple of English services in Busan; and becoming better acquainted with the beauty of the island I live in, and with the rhythm of life in Busan - a place I would find more and more reasons to love.

The only change I made was in choosing a different homestay with which to live. My first homestay family was a great blessing! However, I saw how hard my host mom worked around the home and, with her continued insistence in doing everything for me even as she was recovering from a back surgery, I chose to leave, not wishing to pose a greater burden on her and her family. I also considered the fact that, for the whole year, my two younger host sisters had slept on the living room floor just so I could have a private room in their household. My stay with this family showed me firsthand how one can be "burdened" by the kindness and generosity of others.

My second homestay is made up of educators (host mom is a middle school English teacher and host dad is a statistics professor) and so feels less like "family" and more like colleagues. However, the advantage of this living situation is that my host mom (having also lived in the U.S. for 11 years) can speak English well, giving us the opportunity to have long, drawn out meals where we talk about anything and everything under the sun.

Has your second/third year met your expectations? Please elaborate.

My greatest expectation was to form better and deeper relationships with folks I live, work, worship, and hang out with. This goal has been (more or less) realized. I am satisfied with the friendships I have formed and been able to maintain, but have been a bit disappointed because some of the original friendships that had made this particular placement so ideal for me at the beginning have dissolved into thin air.

I can relate to another Returning ETA, who wrote:

"While I don't regret my decision to renew because it has forced me to grow in many ways, if I knew how much would change (even when I was staying in the exact situation!) I probably wouldn't have renewed."  - Stacey

Other goals I had were to earn a black belt in Taekwondo (thwarted by the onset of chronic cough in winter); to continue working with North Korean Defectors at the Busan Hana Center (check); to step up my YDAC game (check); and to apply for fellowships and graduate schools (the last application having been sent while hospitalized during my recent trip back to the Philippines for winter vacation). No big deal...


What advice do you have for first-year ETAs deciding whether to renew?

In deciding to renew, it's important to remember that you are not the only variable in the equation. I speak from personal experience when I say that family back home who may be doing "well" now financially or health-wise, may not be in a matter of months. If you are privileged with the responsibilities of being the eldest child in a [single-parent] household like I am, you will do well to consider the state of affairs back home before extending your teaching contract.

Also keep in mind that your decision to stay [at the same homestay/school/city for whatever ideal situation] does not necessarily mean things will remain as they are. That is the nature of seasons, of relationships, and of the Korean education system.

If you stay, decide to be present. As teachers, we are in the business of investing in young lives with the hopes they will become future world changers. Knowing this, if you do decide to renew, be fully present and do as Mrs. Shim has always told us: "Love your students!"

Believe it or not, a huge part of loving your students (or anyone, really) well is in taking care of yourself. Stay healthy, maintain your joy despite what your circumstance may look like; maximize the hours you are not teaching (legend has it that the former ETA at my school wrote a novel during her "down time" and later published after her grant year); and remember that, despite how it may feel sometimes, you are now living in "the real world."

Oh, and if you decide NOT to renew, I definitely agree with another ETA's advice who said to:

"...make sure...you have something good waiting for you back home, in Korea, or elsewhere." - David

You can contact me by email if you have unanswered questions or other concerns: mcagaitan[at]gmail.com

Living By the "Don't Compare" Mantra Outside of the Fulbright Family & Encouraging 2nd Host Mom to Stop Comparing Herself to 1st Host Mom

THE "DON'T COMPARE" MANTRA
What we always hear in Fulbright is "Don't Compare" - referring to ETAs who might be tempted to look at each others' differing living accommodations and teaching situations and become discouraged or resentful of the lot they've been given during their grant year. The message makes so much sense, is so often forgotten and just as often recalled that it can be heard reverberating in various forms throughout the year - in Facebook posts, social media captions, hashtags, blog posts, and during coffee dates, and sleepy conference heart-to-hearts.

Comparison comes naturally, which is why we should be all the more vigilant in keeping ourselves from being caught in its unhappy trap. I struggle against it, and so do others - among them the second host mom I am living with now, who, upon hearing about my first host mom's mad cooking skills, has been quick and unrelenting in criticizing what she produces in the kitchen and places on the table.

BATTLE OF THE HOST MOMS
My second host mom also works in education, so we both get home right about the same time. She is always apologizing to me for not having dinner prepared on time, or, if dinner is prepared, for not having delicious and nutritious enough dinner.

I have no idea what she is talking about.

Her cooking is delicious and nutritious! In keeping with a truly Korean cuisine, there are always at least five side dishes on the table besides soup and rice. She also never fails to serve fruit for dessert. In the U.S. "dessert" for me was this exciting event that involved cake or ice cream, brownies or walnut cookies. Or all of those combined. Though I miss this kind of rich, chocolately dessert, I much prefer the fruit desserts because there is never guilt from indulging. (Something to tuck away for my future family!).

I am not very verbal when giving praises, but since moving here I have learned to be more so. If the soup tastes like something I had been craving for but couldn't describe, I tell her. If she peeled the apples with what I consider unusual dexterity, I tell her. If the seafood she served on the table is cooked to perfection, I tell her! 

I don't want my host mom to compare herself to my first host mom. It hurts me to hear her say negative things about the food she cooks, and am trying my best to convince her that what she's provided for me is enough. More than enough. 

Lately, I have taken to hanging around her when she's in the kitchen. Just hanging around - looking for opportunities to affirm her - however random and small. This is the context of the video embedded above. I was so interested in the way she made kimbap! (Also recorded it for the sake of my mom back in the States, who is always asking for recipes of Korean dishes she sees on my Facebook posts!). 

In quick sum, don't compare, folks! You are enough. You are more than enough. 

For the Love of Samgyaetang, A Whole-Chicken-Falling-Off-the-Bones Soup

CELEBRATING THE BIRTHDAY OF ONE OF THE KINDEST TEACHERS AT SCHOOL

After teaching our morning classes, Sookhee and I went out to lunch with Mi Suk Teacher. Without me knowing it, we were going out to belatedly celebrate Mi Suk Teacher's birthday (which was yesterday). This teacher is one of the very kindest teachers at school and always does little things to show her favor towards me. She has done this since I arrived at Yeongdo last year, and continues to show me the utmost kindness until now. I felt guilty at not having known about her birthday, and done something special for her.

*Flashback to my own birthday back in November when she was among the group of teachers who celebrated me with a cake and enthusiastically sang me a "Happy Birthday" song in English!*

Noticing my despair, Sookhee confided in me that she had also forgotten and that was why we were  going out!

ONE OF THE BEST RESTAURANTS SERVING SAMGYAETANG IN YEONGDO
To make up for it, I resolved to beat Sookhee to paying for our lunch, which just happened to be at one of the best restaurants that serve samgyaetang at Yeongdo. Samgyaetang is basically hot chicken soup with green onions and "other delicious flavorings" (according to another clueless reviewer online). 

A whole chicken

We sat using the tables and chairs

I'm guessing this is some of the "other delicious flavorings" thrown into our samgyaetang

THE STRUGGLE OVER WHO WOULD HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF PAYING THE BILL
When it was time to leave, I got up and, noticing that Sookhee was still seated, felt confident as I took my time sauntering towards the counter. Mi Suk Teacher was there. Upon a closer look, she appeared to be reaching into her handbag and handing over her credit card to pay for our meal. I had two seconds to fly across the restaurant and intercept this payment. Hugging her to me (and truncating her elbow's reach towards the counter), I pivoted so that I was in between her and the cashier. This would have been a lot smoother (not to mention successful) had I had my own card ready upon interception. Alas, I had to fumble in my pocket, during which time she escaped!

Mi Suk Teacher struggled and insisted that she pay for our lunch, which, to me, was ridiculous since we were there to celebrate her birthday! We struggled some more, with Sookhee laughing on the sidelines.

THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES ON...
Unlike other people who only pretend not to want to pay the bill, Mi Suk Teacher really did seem like she wanted to pay and that she had, in fact, gone with us that day with the intention of footing the bill. I continued to dance with her in front of the counter and may have, at one point, tossed my own debit card towards the cashier in an effort to beat the good teacher, who, at that moment, had once again escaped from me and was making deliberate strides towards victory.

The poor restaurant owner picked up the debit card I had tossed to her from a semi-indecent distance and, at the same time, accepted the card that Mi Suk teacher more calmly and civilly handed to her (like any normal person might). Looking at the both of us, she made the executive decision to use Mi Suk teacher's card instead of mine.

I sighed in defeat.

My attempt to redeem myself from having forgotten her birthday yesterday did not work. Meanwhile, Sookhee was still laughing uncontrollably on the sidelines. At this point, she was using both hands to cover her deep amusement over what had just transpired.

MIMI = ZERO, SOUTH KOREA = ONE
As the three of us made our way back to the car, I aired my grievances over the injustice that was a birthday person paying for the birthday meal. Sookhee assured me that my intention was good, but that Mi Suk teacher, as our elder, was to have her way if she wanted to pay for the meal. Just as I had thought, Sookhee had also designed to treat the three of us, but...got the memo earlier and received it with more grace than *cough* some people *cough*.

Lesson learned, South Korea! Lesson learned.

It's Springtime in Busan!