Celebrating My Korean Sister's 16th Birthday in the Midst of Her Midterms

Last night, I went to bed hours before my Korean sister did. 

Already feeling under the weather, Juhyeon had to stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning to study for her midterms - ones which last for three days and test her on every subject she is taking (so, about 10 subjects total). Needless to say, as her sister and *ahem* teacher, I felt a bit guilty as I quietly tiptoed to my room. My guilt was definitely not assuaged by the fact that, because all of my first grade high school students would be preoccupied taking their midterms, I had no classes to teach and had three days off work.

The worst of it [for Juhyeon] was that the following day was her 16th birthday. Because she would be at school until at least 9:00 p.m. that day, I wasn't sure how the family would celebrate, so I just laid low. 

And by "laid low" I mean I hopped on a bus and stumbled around Lotte Department Store looking for a suitable gift to give to my sister later that night. I must have visited 20 stores total, tried on over 20 different outfits (we're not the same size, but close enough), and took the escalator at nearly every floor level. At the end of nearly four hours at the mall and with the aid of every store clerk ever, I finally had a complete outfit for Juyheon. 

Exhausted, I went home. This is what met me when I arrived: 

THE CELEBRATION

Korean dad setting the table for a special celebratory meal in the middle of the living room.

I absolutely love seeing how involved dad is in the household! Whenever he is home, he is either enjoying mom's cooking noisily, folding laundry with her, massaging her shoulders, or reclining on the couch with one of his daughters using him as a pillow while they watch a show together. 

Korean dad lighting his daughter's candles

A very rare picture with mom looking on, as opposed to her usual bustling back and forth between the kitchen and the living room.

Do not be fooled. This ice cream cake is 0% cake, and 100% ice cream.

Juhyeon blowing out her candles. She couldn't blow all of them out, so Seoyeon swooped in at the last second and finished the job, effectively reminding me so much of Emily and her impatient habit of blowing out other people's birthday candles. Hahaha

We sang the Happy Birthday song in both English and Korean, and, after, we spoke a blessing over Juhyeon before digging in.

Seoyeon bought her sister a new EXO album, which was probably the highlight of Juhyeon's celebration. They know each other very well...

For a couple of hours, we all lounged about the living room, eating, talking, watching a fascinating show about extreme makeovers (via plastic surgery), and listening to K-Pop trivia from Juyheon and Seoyeon. As if operating by an internal clock, the two girls slowly got up and shuffled off to their various study spots, not to be seen by me again for the next 12 hours as they immersed themselves in books and under the glare of red-eye-inducing lamp lights.

Even more amazing to me: mom stayed up with them - especially Juhyeon - doing various housework and preparing for the next day by ironing out her daughters' school uniforms and cooking their breakfast hours in advance.

Dedication. Sacrifice. Family.

I appreciated how simple Juhyeon's birthday celebration was. It was simple yet very comfortable and intimate, my kind of atmosphere. It felt familiar, like I had been celebrating her birthday with this family for many years.

HAHA! But Seriously Though...How Are You Holding Up With the Break Up?

PREVIOUSLY ON FACEBOOK....

Sister: HAHHAHAH. 

          You're too funny man

          but seriously though...how are you holding up with the break up?

Me:     I have no idea!

          I am fine on the outside

          But I feel like I'm not letting myself feel a lot of things right now.

Sister: You look great on the outside

Me:     Why, thank you 

Sister: Everyone thinks so too

Only a sister could laugh at your jokes one second and then call you out on - no, blow right through - your cover the next.

ENTER G-DRAGON IN "CROOKED"

Photo creds: kppopstarz.com

My day yesterday started out innocuously enough. There I was at work, searching Youtube for a catchy song to help wake my students up at the beginning of class when I stumbled upon this song: "Crooked" by South Korea's G-Dragon. 

It was all over for me the moment I clicked on that iconic red-and-white Youtube play button. I sat in the English teachers' office, transfixed and absolutely terrified in a beautiful and painful and powerful and devastating and drawn-out kind of way. 

I had no idea what the song was about (and neither did it occur to me to look up the lyrics - hello), but the crazy, careless, concentrated, and dazed energy of the song (combined with the violent and hopeless intensity of the actual music video) resonated with me. Surprising, especially since I don't even like this type of music and am only just beginning to appreciate K-Pop.

My chest felt like it was going to burst with so much pent-up emotion and energy so I screamed (on the inside). 

On the outside, I was still calmly sitting in the teachers' office, legs crossed, posture erect, fingers poised on the keyboards,  - completely sober, emotionally-speaking. But the scream inside was so physical, so visceral, and so drunk with the explosive and the indescribable that I had to literally take my ear phones off and check myself.

I didn't actually scream, right? Right. 

And the other teachers didn't hear a thing?  

Silence, except for the constant though irregular hum of keyboards. Okay. Outside everything was okay. 

Inside, I was a picture of G-Dragon walking, running, stumbling around the streets of London, wishing I could wreak havoc like he could, pick fights with strangers like he did, and growl at the world like he growled at the camera.

Unfortunately, while it may be somewhat permissible (some may argue even endearing) for G-Dragon to try and find some emotional comfort by peeing on walls and playing with his rocking horse all day (because he's G-Dragon and he can do whatever he wants), my process has to look a bit different from his since 1) I am not a K-Pop superstar 2) I don't own a rocking horse 3) I don't fancy peeing on walls standing up (or otherwise).

Oh, and I'm a Fulbright Scholar teaching high school English to over 300 young women in South Korea.

My process is different but, really, quite simple: to nap (aka to avoid feeling anything by knocking myself out through sheer mental and physical exhaustion), and to keep calm (and not miss a beat in being awesome).

I was doing phenomenally until I saw this video. And realized it had been exactly a month since the break up.

I have said this before and I will say it again: Someday, I will have a much more grand [love] story to tell - not just to other people, but to myself. I am in the process of completely re-writing the script and, honestly, it's not going so well with all the napping that I'm doing.

This is me processing now, and I appreciate you for bearing with me.

I am being transparent about this area in my, yes, personal life because, apparently "everyone" is under the impression that I look good on the outside (which is basically true but...), but this has been a tough year for me, regardless of what the year may look like on social media. I knew this going into my grant year. I just didn't know I would have to do the processing through lesson plans and K-Pop songs.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Did you watch the music video? What do you think of it?
How do you deal with your emotions? Does the way you deal differ depending on whether or not you're in a private or public sphere?

How would you complete this statement: "Keep calm and __________" that applies specifically to what you need to hear right now?

Hi, My Name is Mimi and (Apparently) I am Aladdin's Girlfriend

Today at school, my students grilled me with questions after my self-introduction.

Students: Teacher, Teacher! Do you have a boyfriend? 
Me: Do I have a boyfriend?
Students: Yes
Me: What do you think?
Students: Ah, yes! Yes! Very very have a boyfriend!
[Whole class laughs and I smile]
[They take my smile as a "Yes" and cheer wildly, applauding me on the edge of their seats]
[I correct them, and the cheerful, applauding smiles turn into the most mournful of faces]
Students: Ooo....
Me: [strategically flipping to the next PPP slide] but, Hey! Look - A picture of Exo!
[Students instantly forget their sadness for my single status and scream their heads off in unison]

As far as I can tell, the "hottest" boy group in Korea. School girls will scream in delight if I as much as post one 

[Students whispering. And then...]
Student 1: Teacher, Teacher!
Me: Yes?
Student 1: Teacher, you look like [something unintelligible to me]
Me: [squinting my eyes into a question mark] Who? I look like who?
Student: You! Your face..like [something unintelligible again]
Student 2: [nudging Student 1 and looking up at me] Ah! Yes, Teacher, your face is [unintelligible again]
Me: ...Ah. ha ha ha... Uhm. Huh...?
Student 2: You know Aladdin?
Me: ...Yes?
Student 2: You are Aladdin's girlfriend!
Me: Ohhhh! Jasmine! You mean Jasmine! 
Students: Jazhmeen. beautiful! Arabia! You are Arabia!
Me: Arabian, huh! You think so! 
Students: Yes!
Me: Why? 
Student2: [without hesitation] Small head - no, small face! - and big eyes! Big, big eyes!
Student 1: And long hair

Me: [recognizing their compliment] Ahh! Thank you.

Artwork above created by Finnish graphic design student Jirka Vaatainen.

HOW I AM PROCESSING THIS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

This is the third time I have been compared to Jasmine from Aladdin.
As a teacher, I am flattered that my students are grasping to connect with me in whatever way they can! As an English major, I have already half-analyzed how the princess brand has and continues to help reinforce female gender norms across cultures. As a CHID major, I am troubled that Western ideals of beauty are so idealized by young women here that even my younger host sister talks about getting plastic surgery to "correct" various physical features, including her eyes. It's as if to compliment me on my "big eyes" they have to uncompliment themselves on their own naturally-given eyes.

Yet another part of me just really wants to ask out loud:

"Aint nobody ever seen or head about no Pocahontas or Mulan 'round here??!" 

If I have to be compared to a Disney princess, I'd rather it be to one of these two women because they kick so much butt! Definitely more my style.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
What do you think of the Disney Princesses? Did you grow up especially favoring one of them? What made that princess so appealing to you? I have asked this previously but, again, what is your definition of beauty? What characteristics strike you as being beautiful and remarkable? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Presentation is Everything: The Night I Offered My Gifts to My Host Family

I joined my host family as they attended church today. The entire service was in Korean so I didn't understand anything, but I was able to read quickly enough in Hangul to sing along during worship! Towards the end, I heard the pastor say my name and felt my host mom gently grab my arm and prod me to stand up as he introduced me to the congregation. I waved and said hello (and barely contained the urge to kick myself for not bowing) and was welcomed by many [mostly old] smiling faces. 

PASTOR: I AM IN GREAT HANDS WITH HOST FAMILY

The pastor said something and my mother quietly laughed to herself. Later my sister would translate that my host mom had laughed because she was pleased but felt very shy when the pastor told everyone that I could not be in better hands, and that this family would take good care of me and feed me very well. I was relieved to hear this because I thought maybe the pastor had teased or shared a joke about me. Whew!

The front of the small Presbyterian Church

After church, I waited for my host sisters as they finished practicing for choir. I sat in the back of the church and leafed through a hymn book/ Bible. Meanwhile, a couple of men came up to me and conversed with me in English. They spoke fairly well but discounted my compliments at every turn.

I was able to identify Genesis 12:2, the same verse the family has hanging prominently in their living room.

Apparently, the church was serving Thai food (curry chicken) for lunch (which I was excited about) but, somewhere along the way, my host mom misunderstood and thought I would prefer fast food instead. And so it was that my host sisters and I, along with one of their friends, found ourselves lunching on burgers, fries, and lemonade. I intended to pay for our lunch, but my host sisters wouldn't let me, saying host mom had given them money to pay for everyone. (Seriously, when will they let me treat them?!)

INTRO TO K-POP CULTURE
We bused back home, and they spent a couple of hours flipping through TV channels educating me in all things K-Pop. All of the singers look the same to me, and I honestly can't distinguish between my sisters' crushes. They are obsessed with a boy group called Exo, and especially with a song called "Growl" (in English).

Sisters: So handsome!
Me: Ne (Yes), so handsome [insert forced smile here]
Sisters: Soooo handsome! 
Me: Ne,...but why do they look girly?
Sisters: [gasps of horror] NOOO! Not girly! Handsome! 
Me: Ah! Okay, okay! Yeah, I guess that one with the black hair is kind of cute.
Sisters: [smiles and vigorous nods of approval]

I was extremely tired so I kept nodding off. It took all I had not to head straight to my bedroom and lock myself in for a good solid hour of napping. Not long after though, the girls noticed and, out of the corner of my eye, I could see one nudge the other and nod over at me. I finally admitted that I may be a little bit tired, and was then freed from my K-Pop lessons for the day.

I napped for hours. When I got up, I began to wrap my gifts for my host family. When dinner came, and our conversations flowed freely, with energy and with much comedy, I decided that this would be as perfect a time as any to hand over my gifts.

A FAMILY THAT SHOPS TOGETHER...
However, there was an impromptu grocery shopping invite, so I waited until after we returned home.

This family shops together, even including my host dad!

Here is my family checking out a high-quality laundry detergent. 

The newness of our living arrangement makes the performance of even the most mundane of tasks exciting to me and, I could tell, to my host family. Like they did with the fried and BBQ chicken, my host sisters used me to throw more ice cream bars in the cart than usual. 

A drawing inside the card I gave them,written all in Korean (Thank you, Google Translate).

GIFT-GIVING & GREAT FIRST IMPRESSIONS...

When we got home, we continued our conversations while enjoying dessert my host mom had prepared in the living room. I brought out my gifts for them and handed a single bag containing gifts for each individual member of the family to host dad. They were all so surprised, and so appreciative, and grateful. It made my heart ache a little that I couldn't have given them more. 

They opened my card and read it together - smiling, nodding, oohing and aahing at the Korean I used. 

As if their many thanks weren't enough, my host sisters offered me their absolute favorite snacks to eat. I was already full so this was completely unnecessary, but I accepted anyway. 

Seoyeon's gifts for me.

As I was listening to host dad explain the stories behind the cute little figurines and vases they have displayed in a cabinet (and which I saw him dusting very carefully earlier that evening), host mom came up behind me and presented me with this: 

It is a one-of-a-kind handmade dinnerware, with the signature of a famous artist engraved on the bottom.

I didn't understand at first. I thought host mom was just letting me see more of the household decorations, but they thrust the set in my hands and said I could keep it and bring it with me back to America.

This thing is so beautiful! I can't imagine casually using it to hold my food during meals. The whole family helped me wrap it in bubble-wrap because I did not want to take any chances chipping or breaking it during my year here.

Host Dad: If you break, no replacement. Very unique. 

No pressure or anything.

I knew this before church today, but the pastor's words are definitely ringing true. I am pleased by my host family's gratitude but can't figure out how to react to their generosity. My gifts were very small, yet they have repaid me with somethings much bigger and of more value. I am overwhelmed by their love!

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Have you ever received a gift so special that you wanted to display it (or, in my case, bubble wrap it) immediately? Was the gift special because it was expensive or did its worth stem from elsewhere?

What is the biggest gift you have ever given to someone you knew? To someone you didn't know? While giving comes fairly natural to me, receiving does not. Do you have any thoughts/tips on how to receive gifts graciously? Share your comments in the box below.