Thoughts on Transitions and Goodbyes and Feeling Like Joseph & His Robe of Many Colors By the Way My Former Principal Treated Me

THE MANY SHADES OF "GOODBYE!"

Most people who say, "See you later!" or "Let's catch up sometime" do so just as another polite and friendly way to extract themselves from a chance meeting-gone-too-lengthy and say "Goodbye" (without so much of the finality an actual goodbye entails). I have noticed this mostly in the Western world, and have adjusted accordingly in the years I have lived in the States.

However, here in South Korea, when someone tells me they want to "see [me] later," I have found they literally mean it. Like, the next day, I will receive a text asking  when I am available for lunch or coffee... that week. And then a follow-up text asking where and what time. I like this clear-cut, to-the-point, action-oriented interpretation of the above-mentioned phrases more!

My host sisters and students don't believe me, but I truly, absolutely adore the Principal's traditional Korean outfits. They're loose, elegant, and, yes, old-womanly-looking, but so cool! The only problem is they are also way out of my price range :/

I mention all of this because, right before my former principal left Yeongdo Girls High School to move on to her new 4-year appointment at another school, she invited me to come and visit her there. She seemed really genuine and eager when she gave this invitation in all-Korean (thanks to my co-teachers for translating), but I reverted back to my Western way of interpreting these parting words, and, though I could feel that the sentiment was definitely there, I didn't think she actually expected me to follow through when I said "Definitely! I will come to see you there!"

Fast-forward a couple of months and Park Mi Sook bujangnim invited me to come visit our gyojang seonsaengnim along with a handful of other teachers. She reminded me that the principal was especially fond of me and that my presence there would make the trip more meaningful as most of the teachers who are going to visit will also be leaving their schools after this year. Just like me. (It turns out, this see you later is just an extended formal goodbye). But did I want to go? 

OUR BELOVED FORMER PRINCIPAL 

We're talking about the Principal who would come in to the gyomushil to check on each teacher and give my hands a worried squeeze when she heard the terrible gravity of my winter cough; the woman who would give me extra pocket money for Fulbright's Fall Conference in Gyeongju and Spring Conference in Jeju, and the same one who gave my first-ever YDAC team a generous day allowance on top of what the U.S. Embassy in Seoul was already covering. The same principal who gave me gifts for my birthday and for Christmas, and wrote me an adorable New Years card, complete with personal artwork decorating the envelope! We're talking about this Principal, who, contrary to what I had believed, didn't do this for the other teachers at my school. (Feeling a bit like Joseph and his robe of many colors but - thankfully! - my co-teachers are far from being like jealous siblings).

FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH THE PRINCIPAL 

Since I have been remiss in posting regularly unlike my first month here in Korea, here are some Facebook posts to catch you up!

3/7/2014 | School admins with Michael Horn

12/24/2014 | Scarf and leather gloves from Principal
Sookhee: "The Principal really loves you!"

8/25/14 | Hogan Medlin, YGHS Fulbright ETA 2011, visiting!

1/9/15 | Principal congratulating the students who earned
YGHS its second First Place YDAC win!

And because we're talking about this Principal, I was definitely going. 

VISITING OUR BELOVED FORMER PRINCIPAL

Me: [asking co-teachers in genera] What should I bring? 

Sookhee: No, you don't need to bring anything. 

Me: Really...? What about a small gift or a card? 

Sookhee: [always making sure that I'm not "burdened" by anything] No, we've already got a gift for Principal. Other teachers pooled money and bought a gift already. 

Me: Oh...err - 

Sookhee: -But you don't have to worry about that! Principal really loves you. You just bring yourself and she will be happy!

Me: [thinking I would at least write a card] Okay, sounds good!

Mi Sook Bujangnim: Mimi - may I suggest you write a card for the Principal? I think it's a good idea

Me: Yeah, that's no problem, bujangnim!

KOREA ART & DESIGN HIGH SCHOOL

The entrance of our Principal's new high school. Sookhee translated that the Principal is only two years away from retirement but, unlike what most people expected she would do, she is not taking these last couple of years lightly. She's bent on revamping the curriculum of this arts and design-focused school so that its students can be as competitive as possible when it comes to university applications!

Gradually meeting up with teachers. Some came with watermelons, and others carried boxes full of plants in fancy earthenware 

There were four of these mini ponds in the mini park in front of the school. The shock of water and green plants was soothing to my eyes. It also helped me recover a bit after feeling motion sick in the back of my co-teacher's car

The Principal's warm welcome. She ushered us into her office, where she updated the teachers about the great tasks that are in front of her in this new school

Heading from the school to a restaurant to eat dinner together! Jeong Eun Ju Seonsaengnim had a prior appointment and so left the six of us to dine together

I was told there would be fish broth but, it turns out, the broth was made of powdered fish. I basically spent the whole meal waiting for the "real" fish broth to come out...

The rest of the group walking way ahead on our way back to the school as Park Mi Sook Bujangnim proudly shared some of her daughter's fashion designs with me on her smartphone

It was about 7:00 p.m. when we finished dinner and arrived back at the school. It took us another 30 minutes to get back to YGHS. I like this picture, capturing the Principal's face all lit up at our having visited her :)

Knowing that Jeon Mi Soon Gyojang Seonsaengnim would have a heck of a time translating my English writing, I asked Sookhee to translate my "short"-message-turned-kind-of-long on the other side of the card. She gave a disclaimer that not everything would transfer smoothly to Korean, but seeing her handwriting on the page a few minutes later was like witnessing Hangeul magic. I didn't care as long as the gist was on the page. Sookhee is the best!

TRANSITIONS ARE ROUGH FOR EVERYONE
My hope is that Jeon Gyojang Seonsaengnim would accomplish all the good she is setting out to do for the students at this school, and that her doing so will not leave her exhausted and depleted but even more charged with energy and life! I didn't account for this apparently rougher transition she would have in the card I gave to her. I kind of assumed that, after a couple of decades or so in the Korean education system, the transitions would be a piece of cake (for her and anyone). Perhaps it becomes easier, but I suppose a transition is still a transition.

I have less than two months left in this country, so my head is definitely full of thoughts concerning goodbyes and transitions. Seeing how much I love this country, my job, and my life here, the coming days are going to be rough. [Deep intake of breath] Very rough...

Yearbook Photo-Taking & Experiencing Micro Exclusions at School

Yesterday, I stayed at school past 8:00 p.m. creating visually-rich itineraries and editing an upcoming program to an obsessive-compulsive degree. I emerged from the computer screen-induced daze I had been in to realize that night had fallen, and I was the last one left in the gyomushil save for Jane. Unaware of my foggy mental state, she asked me some questions that helped draw me out of my reverie. Thank you, Jane. 

Would I like a ride home? 

Yes, please! 

Snug in her small 4-door, Jane casually mentioned that the following day (today) would be picture-taking day. 

Me: For what? 

Jane: For the yearbook, of course!

Me: [remembering how I wasn't part of it last year, I murmured] cool!

Jane: So...what are you going to wear? 

Me: Probably nothing. Err - what I mean is, I'm probably not...included in the yearbook, so - 

Jane: Why not? You're a teacher at the school!

Me: [totally what I was thinking, but what I said was] I wasn't asked to be a part of it last year. I just assumed foreign teachers were excluded from the official school yearbook...

Jane: Huh...I bet you were in last year's, too. They probably just used your Fulbright mugshot. 

Me: [horrified] I really hope not! Anyway, are you sure foreign teachers are included?

She said they (aka me - since I'm the only foreign teacher at my school) were. Though there are many aspects to love about my school, small things like these have made me feel a bit excluded in the past year. I am too shy to ask or confirm or, worse, look like I am insisting on being included in spheres where I may not belong. 

I have been so attuned to this feeling while growing up that I have done everything I could in all the roles I have held to minimize the possibility of this feeling unhappily alighting upon other people. 

Here's a happy little video I took of our picture-taking time - complete with sunshine, green grass, blue skies, people gardening, and awkward Korean studio poses that really don't speak at all to the aforementioned feelings of micro exclusions I have sometimes felt at my school. 

After twisting my head at an uncomfortable angle and placing my hands in the most awkward pose ever, the photographer snapped my photo, and I was free! 

It turns out Jane and I were among the few teachers at the school who got wind of the fact we would be taking photos today! (All because we had stayed past 8 p.m., when the school decided to send an automated message to teachers' computers). Many teachers ambled into the temporary studio self-conscious in their loose, non-stylish Friday outfits. Apparently, unlike other years, this year's yearbook portrait-taking was mandatory. 

Date Night w/ My Co-Teacher | Samgwangsa Temple's Festival of Lights!

One of the cooler [and more unexpected] aspects of my time here in South Korea has been the absolutely fantastic Fulbright co-teachers I have been blessed to work with. To date, I have worked with five - three "official" ones, and two who, for various reasons had to temporarily sub in for my "official" ones. They have all been extremely helpful, accommodating, and adventurous! 

My second Fulbright co-teacher was Jane. Even though she is no longer assigned to me, she still takes the time to spend time with me at school (taking walks around the school grounds, giving me rides home after staying late at work), and outside of school (asking me if I want to go on day-trips with her on the weekends). If it weren't for her, I would see less of Busan!

The video and photos below show one of our many adventures together!

There were probably thousands of these tags, containing people's full names, address, and wishes

The lanterns were in different colors

This whole temple was absolutely enchanting in the evening

My beautiful, adventurous co-teacher! 

Renewing ETA Profile (AKA Reflections on My Year(s) Teaching in Korea)

THE RENEWING ETA PROFILE HANDBOOK
Just this afternoon, our Program Coordinator sent out a giant email containing application forms for leadership positions next year within Fulbright Korea. Yes, we've just returned from our winter vacations, but it's that time of the grant year again! Included among the many attachments was the Renewing ETA Profile Handbook, containing the knowledge, experiences, and insights of, well, ETAs who are in their second or third year here. The aim of the handbook is to help first year ETAs decide whether to likewise renew or not.

Because I tarried in submitting my survey, my responses were not included in the handbook. However, I did save what I typed up, (thinking I would later post them up here), and want to share them with you here now with some modifications.

SURVEY: LOGISTICS STUFF

Current School Name and Location: Yeongdo Girls High School, Yeongdo-gu, Busan
Current School Demographics: All-Girls
Did you change school demographics after your first (or second) year(s)? No
Did you change placement locations? No
Do you currently live in a homestay or apartment? Homestay

SURVEY: SHORT RESPONSES PORTION

What factors were relevant to your decision to renew? 

I chose to renew based on a wonderful first-year experience. The families, friends, and communities I formed during my first few months of arriving in Busan went to extraordinary lengths, above and beyond their job descriptions, to make my stay here smooth, comfortable, and delightful!

Because being a "Fulbrighter in South Korea" was only supposed to be a one-year commitment for me before diving right into grad school, I did touch base with former professors and counselors to hear what they had to say. The response was a resounding: Yes! Go be young, and live your life now! Grad school won't be going anywhere! (or something to that effect). This, along with the fact that my family back in the U.S. were doing well further encouraged me to invest another year in growing in a different setting.

How has your current year been different from your first (or previous years) as an ETA? How has it been similar? 

I enjoyed every aspect of my first year enough to request renewal at the same city, and same school! The advantages of staying were numerous, including: being able to witness the evolution of my students from first graders to second- and, now, third-graders(!); forming deeper bonds with the students, co-teachers, and administrators at my school; strengthening ties with a slew of foreigners I met at a couple of English services in Busan; and becoming better acquainted with the beauty of the island I live in, and with the rhythm of life in Busan - a place I would find more and more reasons to love.

The only change I made was in choosing a different homestay with which to live. My first homestay family was a great blessing! However, I saw how hard my host mom worked around the home and, with her continued insistence in doing everything for me even as she was recovering from a back surgery, I chose to leave, not wishing to pose a greater burden on her and her family. I also considered the fact that, for the whole year, my two younger host sisters had slept on the living room floor just so I could have a private room in their household. My stay with this family showed me firsthand how one can be "burdened" by the kindness and generosity of others.

My second homestay is made up of educators (host mom is a middle school English teacher and host dad is a statistics professor) and so feels less like "family" and more like colleagues. However, the advantage of this living situation is that my host mom (having also lived in the U.S. for 11 years) can speak English well, giving us the opportunity to have long, drawn out meals where we talk about anything and everything under the sun.

Has your second/third year met your expectations? Please elaborate.

My greatest expectation was to form better and deeper relationships with folks I live, work, worship, and hang out with. This goal has been (more or less) realized. I am satisfied with the friendships I have formed and been able to maintain, but have been a bit disappointed because some of the original friendships that had made this particular placement so ideal for me at the beginning have dissolved into thin air.

I can relate to another Returning ETA, who wrote:

"While I don't regret my decision to renew because it has forced me to grow in many ways, if I knew how much would change (even when I was staying in the exact situation!) I probably wouldn't have renewed."  - Stacey

Other goals I had were to earn a black belt in Taekwondo (thwarted by the onset of chronic cough in winter); to continue working with North Korean Defectors at the Busan Hana Center (check); to step up my YDAC game (check); and to apply for fellowships and graduate schools (the last application having been sent while hospitalized during my recent trip back to the Philippines for winter vacation). No big deal...


What advice do you have for first-year ETAs deciding whether to renew?

In deciding to renew, it's important to remember that you are not the only variable in the equation. I speak from personal experience when I say that family back home who may be doing "well" now financially or health-wise, may not be in a matter of months. If you are privileged with the responsibilities of being the eldest child in a [single-parent] household like I am, you will do well to consider the state of affairs back home before extending your teaching contract.

Also keep in mind that your decision to stay [at the same homestay/school/city for whatever ideal situation] does not necessarily mean things will remain as they are. That is the nature of seasons, of relationships, and of the Korean education system.

If you stay, decide to be present. As teachers, we are in the business of investing in young lives with the hopes they will become future world changers. Knowing this, if you do decide to renew, be fully present and do as Mrs. Shim has always told us: "Love your students!"

Believe it or not, a huge part of loving your students (or anyone, really) well is in taking care of yourself. Stay healthy, maintain your joy despite what your circumstance may look like; maximize the hours you are not teaching (legend has it that the former ETA at my school wrote a novel during her "down time" and later published after her grant year); and remember that, despite how it may feel sometimes, you are now living in "the real world."

Oh, and if you decide NOT to renew, I definitely agree with another ETA's advice who said to:

"...make sure...you have something good waiting for you back home, in Korea, or elsewhere." - David

You can contact me by email if you have unanswered questions or other concerns: mcagaitan[at]gmail.com

My Second First Day as a High School English Teacher at Yeongdo!

Yeongdo Girls' High School's first ever woman principal with her ETAs from 2011 and 2013.
Missing Andrea Tang (2012) from this picture!

THE RHYTHM OF RUSHING AND SLOWING DOWN

For the new school year, my walk started from the house of my new homestay family. The path was windy - familiar in that I had traversed it by bus countless of times before, and unfamiliar because I was much lower on the ground and slower on foot, allowing me to see and notice and consider things I had not before.

I was approaching my school from the opposite direction. If I had not been rushing, I might have had opportunity to entertain such things as have from time to time fought to accompany me along the rode: Nervousness, Anxiety, Fear. 

Sometimes it's the rushing through life that saves me from so much mental apprehension. Of course, with these negative feelings come the positives: Excitement, Hope, and a Fire that grows within me with each step that leads me closer to my destination. 

Today has been a special first day being back:

1. I found out I have a new Fulbright co-teacher -  an English teacher with whom I worked last year as a classroom co-teacher. She is beautiful, sweet, and soft-spoken but has been away for a semester. I am glad to be working with her again and am excited for the new dynamic ahead of us!
2. A former ETA (2011) came to visit! Hogan Medlin, Yeongdo Girls' High School's first ever native English teacher came to say hi to the principal (who is very fond of him), the teachers he worked with (who were talking about his visit 6 months before it happened), and his students (who are now in the 3rd grade). We had communicated via email during my first year as an ETA and he had been quite generous with tips on how to ease my experience at YGHS. What a real pleasure to have met you, Hogan! You set the bar high and I couldn't be more grateful for the challenge!

English teachers and principal with Mr. Hogan Medlin, future major world-changer!

The Last Week of My Grant Year | Friday's Milmyeon Lunch & Coffee Date with Teachers

Today was my last Friday at school. After teaching my morning classes, the teachers in the gyomushil decided to take me out to lunch at this apparently famous milmyeon place in our very own island (it won an award for serving up awesomeness a few years back)! The restaurant is small, but it had a long line all the way down the sidewalk. I was surprised to have never eaten here before considering the place was only a few steps away from my host family's apartment.

A hidden gem. We chowed down, and I was legitimately smitten. 

Chinese teacher and English teacher

Some seriously good Korean noodles. It was a hot day so the cold bowl of icy noodles was just what I needed to feel refreshed!

This is the restaurant in case you want to come to Yeongdo and experience this magic for yourself

After milmyeon, we took a walk to a nearby coffee shop and, again, I was treated to my very own cup of hot caramel macchiato. 

I have been here many times but I never get tired of just letting my eyes
graze over the way the coffee shop owners have decided to decorate the place

My lovely colleagues waiting for our drinks

With a cup of coffee in each of our hands, we made our way back to where the car was parked and drove to school to continue our work. I was set to have a long day helping Stella grade a mountainous pile of entries from a recent English Essay Writing competition. She had shown me the blueprint of this competition before it was administered to the students and I was so excited for the results! I wholeheartedly agreed to dive into the grading once the student entries poured in.

We teamed up to accomplish all the reading and grading before my departure the following week. 

Drinking the rest of my coffee while reading over students' entries.
This one was the Story Writing portion, which I really enjoyed due to the students' creativity and humor

At a later time, I will share some of the things the students wrote and/or drew. This kind and amount of [written] English does not happen in my classroom, so I was pleasantly surprised/ taken aback by their ability to assemble such riotously comical and heartbreaking stories in English!

To Be Continued...

The End of My Mini Break: Syabeu Hyang Vietnamese Lunch with Teachers

ONE WEEK COUNTDOWN

Today was the last day of my mini break from school (courtesy of Finals testing). It is also exactly one week before I will teach my last class for this grant year! I am eager to teach the last four-five classes I have left, to start packing my things, to begin the process of moving from one homestay to another, and, most of all, to visit my family in the U.S. 

The countdown until my flight home is almost unbearable. I am so very thirsty for my family's embrace. 

Lord, be with me these next few days in Korea. Sustain me and help me finish well what you enabled me to start a year ago. Thank You for the company of these teachers, who nourish me with great food and conversation. Through a simple lunch invitation today, they have unknowingly helped to disrupt an impressively deep sense of loneliness that has settled over me lately. I thank You for Your presence. 

VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT

There were eight of us who met together for lunch

The rest of the restaurant on the 8th floor

Colorful vegetables! I thought of Mama and her health-conscious cooking with every bite I took

I like the first two sauces (the third one was too spicy for me).
Even this tray of sauces reminded me of Mama. She is a talented cook and makes her own sauces, too!

All kinds of healthy on our table!

Before being rolled into a tasty, bite-sized goodness!

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU

When I am missing my family, the most unexpected things will remind me of home. What makes you miss your family/friends - home? How do you weather through the wait (until you see them again)? Share your thoughts in the comment box below!

The War Memorial of Korea: The Korean War Room in Yongsan-dong, Seoul

TRAVELING FROM BUSAN...

It took me seven hours to travel from Busan to Seoul yesterday. My Fulbright co-teacher, awesome as usual, helped me purchase my bus and KTX tickets online, draft a travel itinerary I could follow even blind through the country, and arranged for me to leave in the middle of the school day just so I could arrive at my destination around dinnertime, (which was nice since I was leaving school before lunchtime). It would have taken me longer, but I could have done all of the travel arrangements on my own. However, there must be something either really endearing or really lost in the way I make simple, quiet inquiries because doing so seems to activate something deeply accommodating and, I would even say, motherly in Sookhee. 

If I got lost at any point on my journey, she said, I should call her. See? What did I tell you?

...ARRIVING IN SEOUL

After a bus ride (from Yeongdo to Nampo), a subway ride (from Nampo to Nopo), another longer bus ride (from Dong Seoul Bus Terminal to Kangbyeon Station), and another longer subway ride to Hongik University, I arrived in Seoul in one piece. I dropped my things off at the Orange Guesthouse before meeting a friend for dinner. He also graduated from the UW-Seattle and is now finishing up a Masters in Seoul National University - at 22. Gabrielle joined us after for drinks and conversation. It was rather late when we arrived back in the guesthouse and I knew that her goal of waking up by 6 a.m. on a Saturday was simply not going to happen. 

I was right. 

& STAYING AT A GUESTHOUSE

The white sheets that enshrouded me in my sleep were stiff. I woke up slowly, enjoying the heavily overcast daylight seeping through the cracks on the window and penetrating through the solid curtains. Gabrielle and I only bolted awake when Hope, another ETA, called to say she was on her way to the guesthouse. 

We had the Fulbright Final Dinner to attend this evening, but before then the three of us had the entire afternoon to do as we pleased in Seoul. Gabrielle suggested we visit the war memorial and, not having any strong opinion on an alternate activity, we went. Unlike Hope and I, Gabrielle is not renewing her contract and so was especially eager to see and experience as much of Korea as she could in the few days she has left (Yes, we are down to just a few more days until our contract ends!). 

WAR MEMORIAL OF KOREA

"Telling the Moving Story of the People of Korea"

Opened in 1994, this war memorial exhibits and memorializes the military history of Korea on what was once the army headquarters in Yongsan-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul. Out of the six indoor exhibition rooms, we only had time to explore one. On our way to the memorial building, we passed some of the 13,000 war memorabilia and military equipment on the outdoor exhibition center. 

Here is what our day looked like:

The entrance which we actually saw after exiting the museum

This is the layout of the place we toured this afternoon.
Interestingly enough, maps don't mean much to me until after I have gone through the length of the trail. 

Children playing "feed and then scare the living daylights out of pigeons!" in the courtyard

AND NOW... LET'S FOLLOW GABRIELLE AND HOPE THROUGH THE CORRIDORS

These two look like they know where they're going

Both of them wore flats for the museum trip...unlike someone else. Lesson learned! (I think)

Natural light streaming in through this hall on our way inside the main building

Beautiful cityscape visible in between the columns as we walked

Both the U.S.A. and the Philippines were part of the UN Forces

and this is after we took a right turn. More columns - this time bearing the individual names
of brave men and women who fought in the war

Name plaques

"Our Nation Honors Her Sons and Daughters Who Answered the Call 

to Defend a Country They Never Knew and a People They Never Met" 

Source: The Monument of the Korean War Veterans Memorial, Washington, D.C., U.S.A.

This is what the inscription on the wall said. The collage is imperfect, but perfection is not the point. 

Washington State

Philippines!

A majestic ceiling with, you guessed it, more natural light pouring down on us below

Trying to take everything in

First Lieutenant Jin Du-Tae 

The museum was huge and our time was limited so we chose to explore a small segment of the

THE KOREAN WAR ROOM 1

"Invasion of the South and Counter Attack"

I am always fascinated by maps detailing the series of events that led to the division of the Korean peninsula!

Children standing over the remains (demo) of a soldier from the Korean War

Gabrielle scrolling through the timeline of the war

These were cool to see!

Families were displaced

Attesting to the awesome city that is Busan

"Stand or Die"

Busan highlighted on the map

I breezed through this exhibit room and waited for Hope and Gabrielle on a seat overlooking this view

I sat out the other two exhibits while these two finished exploring them. They left their bags with me as I read a book of essays

Heading out of the war memorial

We exited the war memorial at around 4:45 p.m., began to make our way to Hotel President, and arrived just in time for dinner.