"Homesick for Busan City" Even Before I Leave My Amazing Placement

REMINISCING 

Nearly two years ago when I first arrived here in South Korea, I remember never having even heard of the city of Busan, where I would be placed in, and where I would ultimately spend all this time living and teaching and exploring. Since then, I have grown to absolutely love this city! It reminds me so much of Davao, Philippines, and Seattle, Washington, where I have spent a considerable amount of my life before ending up here. It was a foreign place but, once I arrived, it felt oddly and wonderfully familiar. 

Out of curiosity, I reread my blog post about the day I found out I would be coming here: July 30, 2013's Placement Ceremony. Just, wow. I feel so blessed that, though I didn't get what I thought I wanted, I ultimately got what I didn't even know I needed. Part of this was being placed where I believe I would have the most impact. Of course, I didn't do everything perfectly - not in my lesson plans, my working relationships, my homestay life, not in my dreams of traveling far and wide and studying the language to achieve proficiency. But it is through experiencing my limitations more acutely here in Korea that I have faced the tremendous and painstaking challenge of...extending grace to myself. 

Note to Current and Future ETAs: 

Please Be Kind and Gracious! 

To Yourselves, Too!

Your time here is limited. You may spend one to three years of your life here (more if you really fall hard for the country like some Fulbright Korea alumni), which is not that long in the greater scheme of things. Before you know it, you will be like me - sitting in the gyomushil at work, clipping two-years' worth of front pages of your city's local tourism-focused newsmag, missing your placement hardcore while simultaneously cringing over the pain of using scissors! 

DYNAMIC BUSAN

"Twice-monthly newspaper of Busan Metropolitan City, Korea" 

I stayed in school for 12 hours today, yet only taught two 50-minute classes, so I was in dire need of a project. I had saved up every issue of Dynamic Busan since I arrived at my school, (with the intention of eventually doing something collage-y or artsy with the fantastically vibrant landscape shots of the city), so today was a day of sorting through the mountainous pile on my desk, cutting up the main photos and date stamps on the front covers, and browsing through the rest of the newspaper for photos of places I had been at or events I had experienced. This is what my late afternoon/ evening consisted of. 

Sookhee took note of my large-scale newspaper cutting but apparently already guessed the reason why I was bent on such a project. She asked me just to confirm over dinner, and I explained that I was doing this because I would miss Busan so much! She nodded her head, and said, "I knew it" 

I arranged the cover photos by date. I am missing only two issues: November 2013 and April 2015! Where have these issues gone?! My collection will not be complete :(

I was really not paying attention to much of the written pieces, but I randomly stumbled upon this short opinion piece. It's written by one Sohail Jannessari, who, like me, also greatly appreciates the city. It made me feel better reading this knowing that I wasn't the only one who "fell in love with a city two continents away from my home." I suspect that the inexplicable sorrow he experienced when getting on his plane to go back "home" will be something that I will be experiencing in less than two months...

Yearbook Photo-Taking & Experiencing Micro Exclusions at School

Yesterday, I stayed at school past 8:00 p.m. creating visually-rich itineraries and editing an upcoming program to an obsessive-compulsive degree. I emerged from the computer screen-induced daze I had been in to realize that night had fallen, and I was the last one left in the gyomushil save for Jane. Unaware of my foggy mental state, she asked me some questions that helped draw me out of my reverie. Thank you, Jane. 

Would I like a ride home? 

Yes, please! 

Snug in her small 4-door, Jane casually mentioned that the following day (today) would be picture-taking day. 

Me: For what? 

Jane: For the yearbook, of course!

Me: [remembering how I wasn't part of it last year, I murmured] cool!

Jane: So...what are you going to wear? 

Me: Probably nothing. Err - what I mean is, I'm probably not...included in the yearbook, so - 

Jane: Why not? You're a teacher at the school!

Me: [totally what I was thinking, but what I said was] I wasn't asked to be a part of it last year. I just assumed foreign teachers were excluded from the official school yearbook...

Jane: Huh...I bet you were in last year's, too. They probably just used your Fulbright mugshot. 

Me: [horrified] I really hope not! Anyway, are you sure foreign teachers are included?

She said they (aka me - since I'm the only foreign teacher at my school) were. Though there are many aspects to love about my school, small things like these have made me feel a bit excluded in the past year. I am too shy to ask or confirm or, worse, look like I am insisting on being included in spheres where I may not belong. 

I have been so attuned to this feeling while growing up that I have done everything I could in all the roles I have held to minimize the possibility of this feeling unhappily alighting upon other people. 

Here's a happy little video I took of our picture-taking time - complete with sunshine, green grass, blue skies, people gardening, and awkward Korean studio poses that really don't speak at all to the aforementioned feelings of micro exclusions I have sometimes felt at my school. 

After twisting my head at an uncomfortable angle and placing my hands in the most awkward pose ever, the photographer snapped my photo, and I was free! 

It turns out Jane and I were among the few teachers at the school who got wind of the fact we would be taking photos today! (All because we had stayed past 8 p.m., when the school decided to send an automated message to teachers' computers). Many teachers ambled into the temporary studio self-conscious in their loose, non-stylish Friday outfits. Apparently, unlike other years, this year's yearbook portrait-taking was mandatory. 

MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, My Korean Host Mom Jenny is Serving My Host Dad Steve and I Fish for Dinner...

Photo from http://trendsontrends.com/, a website about homecooked meals that actually makes me want to cook

MEANWHILE, at the Kang Household, my host mom Jenny is serving my host dad Steve and I fish for dinner. The two of them silently and spontaneously engage in a mild competition to outdo the other in being an awesome host parent to me.

ME: Wow, fish!

JENNY: Oh, you like fish?

ME: I love fish!

[In any other context, I would have just dug right in, but, wanting to maintain a semblance of civility, I gingerly start picking at the fish to remove the bones with my chopsticks and spoon. Clumsily but civil-like]

[Jenny, looking very pleased, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a pair of scissors. She carefully begins to cut the delicate fish into tinier pieces. And, much to the amazement of her husband, starts removing the bones for me. By hand]

ME: Ohh, thank you, Jenny, but you don't have t-

JENNY: -No, it's okay! No problem, no problem!

STEVE: Wow, Jenny! My wife! My wife so kind! 

ME: I know!

STEVE: No, Jenny is...uh...more kind NOW. She - she doesn't do this thing before! Even to me! Woah, Jenny, so kind! My wife so kind! [He pats his wife appreciatively on the back]

[As Jenny laughs and looks sheepishly about, I begin to realize just how special my treatment is in their household. We continue to eat. And then, suddenly, Steve gets up from his chair, goes back to the kitchen and comes back with a cup of hot yuja cha for me]

STEVE: [in the sweetest tone] Here, Mimi. It is hot! 

JENNY: [Looking at Steve] Wow! Steve...My husband...[Addressing me] He never does (!)...to me! 

ME: ...he never does....this thing?

JENNY: Yeah, he never does...this thing. My husband is so kind, too! 

ME: [trying to continue eating amidst internal laugh attacks] Yes, both of you are amazing! Thank you so much! 

JENNY: [still looking amazed] He never does!

[Our hearty and prolonged laughter is only interrupted when I decided to continue eating, picking the fish eyes this time]

JENNY: OH OH...! You...eat? You eat fishy eye????????

ME: Yes! It's one of the best parts! [and, as if it would help melt their disbelief, I offer] My grandfather was a fisherman. We ate EVERY part of the fish - except the bones, of course

STEVE: Oh my gahh. Oh my gahh...We never do! [His shocked face slowly begins to register "impressed"] Good, good! Mimi, good! 

JENNY: Korean people, uh, Korean people...we NEVER eat fishy eyes!

Needless to say, this particular meal will likely stay in our minds for a long time to come.

Post-Dinner Evening Stroll in Yeongdo's Coastal Trail with Host Mom

CHUSEOK HOLIDAY BEGINS!

Today is the start of my 5-day Chuseok vacation! The days leading up to this break were filled with questions about what my plans were.

With great excitement, I told other teachers that my plans were: ...*drum-roll please*...

Absolutely Nothing! 

DEALING WITH THE GUILT OF HAVING FREE TIME

I am free! This past year, I have struggled mightily against the guilt of being free to just relax. Being free to pause in my tracks. Being free to not have a schedule. Being free to not have an agenda. Being free for self-care. This past year, I have struggled with this peculiar guilt and am still learning and implementing ways to safeguard my sanity, my health, my time, and my energy. 

THE EVENING STROLL

MY SATURDAY CONSISTED OF ME...

...waking up slow and getting up late, eating brunch while Skyping my sweet Mama in Washington, and then spending the rest of the day reading, napping, watching video clips, napping, pinning parts of my dream home on Pinterest, napping again, waking up for dinner with my Korean host mom, washing dishes, doing laundry, and then taking a walk together afterwards.  

The evening was beautiful - from the moment we stepped outside the apartment complex and saw the near-full moon to the very end, when we sat facing the twinkling lights of the Busan coastline and chatted in the near-dark. I made verbal observations about how much safer Korea is compared to the Philippines (or even compared to the U.S.). 

THE SAFE HAVEN THAT IS KOREA

Walking around at night, I don't feel like I have to constantly look behind my back, or remember my Arnis or Taekwondo, or keep a deathly-grip on my smartphone in case it is snatched. I feel safe here! This safety gives me more freedom to enjoy the walk, breathe in the scenes and the fresh air in one gulp, and just appreciate Connie's brisk walk and personality.

There was a small group out for a night picnic and actually grilling something delicious in the dark. The smoke and the aroma added a touch of warmth to the tingling coolness of the night air. Among many others, we passed by a young family, the father carrying a baby strapped across his torso, while his wife walked arm-in-arm beside him. The sight of this family warmed and gladdened my heart! At one point, Connie collided with what looked to be a disoriented wasp and ended up squashing it with her next step by accident. Very unfortunate fellow.

We returned to the apartment to find that my host dad had arrived, and was hanging our clothes up to dry in the balcony - quite an unusual sight in Korea, I think, especially among the older married folks! 

Living By the "Don't Compare" Mantra Outside of the Fulbright Family & Encouraging 2nd Host Mom to Stop Comparing Herself to 1st Host Mom

THE "DON'T COMPARE" MANTRA
What we always hear in Fulbright is "Don't Compare" - referring to ETAs who might be tempted to look at each others' differing living accommodations and teaching situations and become discouraged or resentful of the lot they've been given during their grant year. The message makes so much sense, is so often forgotten and just as often recalled that it can be heard reverberating in various forms throughout the year - in Facebook posts, social media captions, hashtags, blog posts, and during coffee dates, and sleepy conference heart-to-hearts.

Comparison comes naturally, which is why we should be all the more vigilant in keeping ourselves from being caught in its unhappy trap. I struggle against it, and so do others - among them the second host mom I am living with now, who, upon hearing about my first host mom's mad cooking skills, has been quick and unrelenting in criticizing what she produces in the kitchen and places on the table.

BATTLE OF THE HOST MOMS
My second host mom also works in education, so we both get home right about the same time. She is always apologizing to me for not having dinner prepared on time, or, if dinner is prepared, for not having delicious and nutritious enough dinner.

I have no idea what she is talking about.

Her cooking is delicious and nutritious! In keeping with a truly Korean cuisine, there are always at least five side dishes on the table besides soup and rice. She also never fails to serve fruit for dessert. In the U.S. "dessert" for me was this exciting event that involved cake or ice cream, brownies or walnut cookies. Or all of those combined. Though I miss this kind of rich, chocolately dessert, I much prefer the fruit desserts because there is never guilt from indulging. (Something to tuck away for my future family!).

I am not very verbal when giving praises, but since moving here I have learned to be more so. If the soup tastes like something I had been craving for but couldn't describe, I tell her. If she peeled the apples with what I consider unusual dexterity, I tell her. If the seafood she served on the table is cooked to perfection, I tell her! 

I don't want my host mom to compare herself to my first host mom. It hurts me to hear her say negative things about the food she cooks, and am trying my best to convince her that what she's provided for me is enough. More than enough. 

Lately, I have taken to hanging around her when she's in the kitchen. Just hanging around - looking for opportunities to affirm her - however random and small. This is the context of the video embedded above. I was so interested in the way she made kimbap! (Also recorded it for the sake of my mom back in the States, who is always asking for recipes of Korean dishes she sees on my Facebook posts!). 

In quick sum, don't compare, folks! You are enough. You are more than enough. 

The Last Week of My Grant Year: Thursday Classes | Adjectives Lesson

Caught off guard by the unexpected mini break I enjoyed this past week, I came back to school a bit dizzy over the fact that this would be the last week of my 2013-2014 teaching contract! The beginning of each week for me, lesson-wise, is Thursday so I am grateful that I at least have the opportunity to say a [temporary] goodbye to all 12 of my classes. 

ADJECTIVES LESSON

Not feeling overly sentimental over my upcoming departure, I decided to pick up on the adjectives lesson I had begun right after the students took their English Speaking Tests with me. That test brought me face-to-face with all of my students, which I enjoyed! It also showed me all kinds of glaring grammatical errors that I wanted to address in future lessons. I couldn't write side notes quickly enough! So, even though a bit boring, I continued on with this particular lesson, showing students how to properly use "-ed" and "-ing" at the end of adjectives. 

Believe me, it's necessary when students are in the habit of saying things like: 

"[This weekend, I went to Nampodong] because I was boring" 

instead of 

"...because I was bored."

I stifled a small giggle after the first few students said this (or some variation of this), but after the 84th student, I had lost all initial mirth, experiencing each subsequent "...because I was boring" statement almost as a personal attack. But, don't worry, everybody survived the English Speaking Test! 

BACK TO TODAY

Just to be merciful though, I tacked on a simple "Hot Seat" English vocab game at the latter half of class, which the students enjoyed immensely. It worked so well that, after teaching it to the first of three classes I faced today, I quickly revised my powerpoint in the teachers' office to include more words. 

CLASS PHOTO

Not that I have favorites or anything but two of my former YDAC students are in this class! There are many passionately competitive students in this class who bring incredible energy to games we play together!

I would include photos of my other two classes, but the students were so camera shy that basically everyone hid their faces using one creative method or other.

Teaching an Active Learning Exercise on Emotions (AKA the How to Keep Shining When the Bright Lights of Being a Fulbrighter Begin to Dim Lesson)

THEY ARE SO ALIVE!
The 10-minute breaks between classes are when I observe my students being most excited and energetic. They are alive! For 10 whole glorious (or terrifying - depending on your level of adjustment) minutes, students are out on the hallways making all sorts of noise - yelling [l'm sure lovingly] at each other, screaming out normal sentiments, loudly chatting, laughing in groups, seemingly sweeping through the halls with all kinds of evidence that they are, in fact, alive! Despite the chaos, I rejoice with them, especially considering the rigor of their school schedules. I wish the more, let's say, controlled version of this energy and excitement overflowed into the classroom. Or even just my classroom, a magical place where students are expected to actually practice speaking the English they learn from two other English classes they take! (Yes, my Korean students take a total of THREE English classes).

EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE NOT...
However, their energy level usually doesn't overflow. Many an internal battle has been waged, upon the battlegrounds of which I had to convince myself - again and again - that my classes' lack of participation (especially the lower levels) is not personal. Really, it's not.

Just some of the wide variety of emoticons now at our disposal
Credit: http://in.socialdaily.com/

THE WEEKLY CHALLENGE
I take these moments as reminders that my job as an English teacher does not only entail creating lessons that dispense cold, hard knowledge of things English, but creating lessons that dispense knowledge in a fun, memorable, and, hopefully, also interactive way! Wow.

THE TIMES I FORGET WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
Wow, because you forget. When your energy is low; when motivation is sparse; when feeling a tad bit homesick; when you're struggling with the question of, "Am I doing enough?"; when you see your graduating class move on to grad school, take permanent jobs, and even start families; when your family back home wants you, well, back home; and when even the bright lights of being a Fulbrighter begins to dim - you forget.

THE ONES WHO PAY WHEN YOU FORGET
And when you forget (why you're doing what you're doing and pursuing the things you're pursuing), every student that encounters you and sees through your facade is negatively affected. This is not what I want, so the reminders are good, pushing me to do better each week.

When I ask students slumped back on their chairs how they are, they usually respond with:

"I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

This, or some variation of: 

I'm tired. I'm sleepy 

(if they're more honest or are legitimately so tired that they can't even muster up the usual response above)

I can already tell from their faces and postures that they're tired and/or sleepy, so these responses don't do much in terms of acquainting me better with my students. I want to know how they really feel, and I want them to know that, when I ask this question, I mean it. 

I wanted to give them the tools to diversify their responses, so I created a lesson last week on "Emotions." Using an image-heavy PPP, I reviewed basic emotions and taught them the English words to less-common ones. I followed this up with a game at the latter half of class, where students had to act out certain emotions for their teammates to guess. 

Students reacted really well to this lesson! I was a very happy teacher meandering through the grouped desks and observing each team's "it" person do the acting. So much laughter was elicited from the students' acting performances. 

Here are some photos I took while going from desk-to-desk!

MY THURSDAY CLASSES ACT IT OUT

And have a blast!

I'm loving Sujin's laughter!

This group was SO into it! Can you tell?

This particular student was extremely competitive and expressive, which made the competition even steeper

Students deliberating how to act out certain words

More smiles :D

Jeongmin's very active group set the tone for the other groups in the class. Thank you so much, girls!

A student considering how to most effectively act out an emotion

I don't know what she's acting out, but it had all her team members laughing!

When students guess correctly, they keep the strip of paper and later count up the points

A student in the middle of acting out an emotion (I don't remember which but it was entertaining to watch!)

Desk-hopping to see students' own version of what certain emotions look like

I wish each week's lesson brought out this level of fun in my classrooms! Hearing my students laughing while deeply immersed in the activity was a huge energy deposit into my own system. These are the moments that I go to bed mentally crafting while half conscious the night before a school day. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't and sometimes it really, really doesn't! 

Being a Fulbrighter does not make me immune to the common challenges of teaching English as a foreign language in Korea (or anywhere, really); it does, however, give me more reason to remember everything that my single presence here serves to represent. 

A Rare Lunch Date with My Three Co-Teachers at 석화정 (Seokhwajeong)

Sookhee, my amazing Fulbright co-teacher, has been in the habit of mercifully saving me from the, sometimes, mind-numbing monotony of school life by inviting me to eat lunch outside of school. I don't know why, but my usual reaction usually goes like this:

ME: ...we will what?!
SOOKHEE: We will eat lunch outside today! 
ME: ...why? [raised eyebrow]
SOOKHEE: You know, it's nice weather today [refers to the window overlooking a sunny day that I had, somehow, been oblivious to all morning]
ME: ...hmmm...[and then, feeling strangely loyal to cafeteria food, I ask] But - what about school lunch?
SOOKHEE: [laughs hysterically at me] Aren't you tired of school lunch? 
ME: Mmm, it's okay...
SOOKHEE: You must be tired of eating same food everyday, right? Just be ready. After fourth period, we will go
ME: [still feeling like we're students skipping class] SOOKHEE, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS OKAY TO DO? 

SOOKHEE: Yes! Of course. We are free to have lunch at school, at home, anywhere!

ME: Yeah, I knew that. I'll be ready by then. 

And so it was that, today, I had the extra special opportunity to go out for lunch with not just Sookhee, but also with my other two wonderful co-teachers: Eunyeong and Miyeon.

Here we are after Miyeon seonsaengnim (teacher) drove us around in circles around the island before finding the restaurant. 

Here I am with Eunyeong seonsaengnim and Sookhee seonsaengnim, clearly having adapted the Korean way of dressing up for work

Entering the restaurant and not knowing what type of food would be served

Most Korean restaurants have you take off your shoes before entering

I have been so blessed to have known these women!

Our table before our super delicious orders arrived. No joke, SUPER delicious.

We ate oyster soup and seafood Korean pancake, both of which reawakened my somewhat dormant excitement over the everyday act eating and feeding myself.

I even took a photo of the restaurant name and contact number, just in case I return by myself

Here they are again: Miyeon, Eunyeong, and Sookhee

A breath of fresh air, a nice change of scene were just the things I needed to continue on with this 9-hour work-day! Oh, and the hot caramel macchiatto Sookhee bought for me after lunch. No complaints here.

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
When bored, falling asleep, or feeling completely out of it, what brings you back to the present? Is there a person who usually comes in and helps yank you out of the thick haze of monotonous being? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Receiving a Manicure from My Host Sister's Weekends-Only Nail Shop

I woke up from my nap after church and found my host sister meticulously painting her nails in her room. After she was satisfied with her nails, she sat me down and offered to paint my nails as well.

She explained that this was "Juhyeon's Nail Shop," available only on weekends because she was busy with school the rest of the week. I nodded my head to signal understanding, but couldn't help laughing at her adorableness.

The Desk Warming Saga Continues: No Observations & No Teaching

Brace yourselves for the mundane details of my everyday life here in Korea. (You know you like reading about it).

Last night, in the middle of shoveling food in my mouth, I told my host mom that I would be happy if she served me the same rice and special egg omelet side dish combo for breakfast every day. And, of course, I woke up for my second day of school with just this very thing on the table - plus more side dishes! 

When I went to deposit my shoes in "my" cubby (aka Andrea's old shoe cubby), I noticed that they had replaced the name placard bearing her name to one with mine. Just this tiny gesture made me feel a little bit more like a part of the school.

The day passed without anyone showing any willingness to let me observe their classes. Like the day before, I spent over six hours loitering about the Teachers' Office, mustering up all sorts of energy and mental exercises to stay awake.

Although I had done nothing particularly taxing, I was exhausted when I got home. I walked zombie-like back to our apartment, and slowly sank down on a chair in my bedroom not understanding what to do next.

Before I could formulate a decisive thought, Seoyeon, my younger host sister, knocked lightly on my door and came in bearing this super tasty drink. The concrete cement that my face had turned into over the course of the day warmed at the thoughtful gesture, and cracked into a slight smile seeing the cute, color-coordinated tray.

Enjoying this milk + strawberry yogurt drink constitutes my last memory before I passed out for another three-hour nap.

When I woke up, I waded through the contents of both suitcases and gave everything its temporary home. I got to the bottom of one suitcase, and found this letter embedded there. I was ecstatic! And then I choked up seeing the careful cursive of my mother's handwriting. I didn't touch the letter - letting it rest where it was - as I kept my hands moving, folding clothes, patting the creases out of my blazers, and lining up the seams of pants and jeans.

And then - as if meeting her for a few brief seconds - I took the envelope, held it up to the light, and savored the feel of its unopened contents. I've been trying to convince myself that I am not homesick but this letter slowly cracked that facade; slowly, because I am still in a whole lot of denial about just how much I miss my family.

Presentation is Everything: The Night I Offered My Gifts to My Host Family

I joined my host family as they attended church today. The entire service was in Korean so I didn't understand anything, but I was able to read quickly enough in Hangul to sing along during worship! Towards the end, I heard the pastor say my name and felt my host mom gently grab my arm and prod me to stand up as he introduced me to the congregation. I waved and said hello (and barely contained the urge to kick myself for not bowing) and was welcomed by many [mostly old] smiling faces. 

PASTOR: I AM IN GREAT HANDS WITH HOST FAMILY

The pastor said something and my mother quietly laughed to herself. Later my sister would translate that my host mom had laughed because she was pleased but felt very shy when the pastor told everyone that I could not be in better hands, and that this family would take good care of me and feed me very well. I was relieved to hear this because I thought maybe the pastor had teased or shared a joke about me. Whew!

The front of the small Presbyterian Church

After church, I waited for my host sisters as they finished practicing for choir. I sat in the back of the church and leafed through a hymn book/ Bible. Meanwhile, a couple of men came up to me and conversed with me in English. They spoke fairly well but discounted my compliments at every turn.

I was able to identify Genesis 12:2, the same verse the family has hanging prominently in their living room.

Apparently, the church was serving Thai food (curry chicken) for lunch (which I was excited about) but, somewhere along the way, my host mom misunderstood and thought I would prefer fast food instead. And so it was that my host sisters and I, along with one of their friends, found ourselves lunching on burgers, fries, and lemonade. I intended to pay for our lunch, but my host sisters wouldn't let me, saying host mom had given them money to pay for everyone. (Seriously, when will they let me treat them?!)

INTRO TO K-POP CULTURE
We bused back home, and they spent a couple of hours flipping through TV channels educating me in all things K-Pop. All of the singers look the same to me, and I honestly can't distinguish between my sisters' crushes. They are obsessed with a boy group called Exo, and especially with a song called "Growl" (in English).

Sisters: So handsome!
Me: Ne (Yes), so handsome [insert forced smile here]
Sisters: Soooo handsome! 
Me: Ne,...but why do they look girly?
Sisters: [gasps of horror] NOOO! Not girly! Handsome! 
Me: Ah! Okay, okay! Yeah, I guess that one with the black hair is kind of cute.
Sisters: [smiles and vigorous nods of approval]

I was extremely tired so I kept nodding off. It took all I had not to head straight to my bedroom and lock myself in for a good solid hour of napping. Not long after though, the girls noticed and, out of the corner of my eye, I could see one nudge the other and nod over at me. I finally admitted that I may be a little bit tired, and was then freed from my K-Pop lessons for the day.

I napped for hours. When I got up, I began to wrap my gifts for my host family. When dinner came, and our conversations flowed freely, with energy and with much comedy, I decided that this would be as perfect a time as any to hand over my gifts.

A FAMILY THAT SHOPS TOGETHER...
However, there was an impromptu grocery shopping invite, so I waited until after we returned home.

This family shops together, even including my host dad!

Here is my family checking out a high-quality laundry detergent. 

The newness of our living arrangement makes the performance of even the most mundane of tasks exciting to me and, I could tell, to my host family. Like they did with the fried and BBQ chicken, my host sisters used me to throw more ice cream bars in the cart than usual. 

A drawing inside the card I gave them,written all in Korean (Thank you, Google Translate).

GIFT-GIVING & GREAT FIRST IMPRESSIONS...

When we got home, we continued our conversations while enjoying dessert my host mom had prepared in the living room. I brought out my gifts for them and handed a single bag containing gifts for each individual member of the family to host dad. They were all so surprised, and so appreciative, and grateful. It made my heart ache a little that I couldn't have given them more. 

They opened my card and read it together - smiling, nodding, oohing and aahing at the Korean I used. 

As if their many thanks weren't enough, my host sisters offered me their absolute favorite snacks to eat. I was already full so this was completely unnecessary, but I accepted anyway. 

Seoyeon's gifts for me.

As I was listening to host dad explain the stories behind the cute little figurines and vases they have displayed in a cabinet (and which I saw him dusting very carefully earlier that evening), host mom came up behind me and presented me with this: 

It is a one-of-a-kind handmade dinnerware, with the signature of a famous artist engraved on the bottom.

I didn't understand at first. I thought host mom was just letting me see more of the household decorations, but they thrust the set in my hands and said I could keep it and bring it with me back to America.

This thing is so beautiful! I can't imagine casually using it to hold my food during meals. The whole family helped me wrap it in bubble-wrap because I did not want to take any chances chipping or breaking it during my year here.

Host Dad: If you break, no replacement. Very unique. 

No pressure or anything.

I knew this before church today, but the pastor's words are definitely ringing true. I am pleased by my host family's gratitude but can't figure out how to react to their generosity. My gifts were very small, yet they have repaid me with somethings much bigger and of more value. I am overwhelmed by their love!

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Have you ever received a gift so special that you wanted to display it (or, in my case, bubble wrap it) immediately? Was the gift special because it was expensive or did its worth stem from elsewhere?

What is the biggest gift you have ever given to someone you knew? To someone you didn't know? While giving comes fairly natural to me, receiving does not. Do you have any thoughts/tips on how to receive gifts graciously? Share your comments in the box below.

First Full Day With My Host Family: What I Expected They Would be Like and What They Are Actually Like, Getting a Cell Phone, Dining with the Relatives

This is Yeongdo, an island district of Busan, the second largest city in South Korea!

I can't believe I'm finally out here in "real" Korea! 

WHAT I EXPECTED MY HOST FAMILY TO BE LIKE

Meeting my host family last night assured me that prayers have been answered. During the car ride to Yeongdo, my Fulbright co-teacher asked me if I was nervous to meet them. Uncharacteristically, I wasn't, so I said: 

Me: No

Co-teacher: [smiles] Really?!

Me: Yeah. I'm not nervous! But maybe later I will be?

[after a pause]

Me: You said they were very pious earlier. 

Co-teacher: Right

Me: So, I know that they're Christian, but what exactly do you mean by "very pious"?

Co-teacher: Ah! Ahm, hmmm...maybe a little more strict? I don't know. They are very good Christian family

Me: Ah! 

[after another pause]

Me: How much English do they know?

Co-teacher: Hm, I don't think they speak very well

Me: Ah...

[and I sat back in my seat, thinking, worrying]

WHAT MY HOST FAMILY IS ACTUALLY LIKE

I need not have worried. My family welcomed me with so much warmth that all anxieties I had over x and y melted away within the first night we spent together. 

My host parents have already taken to calling me their "first daughter." Due to some interpretation errors, I initially thought that my host father was a farmer, but it turns out he's a businessman who works with agricultural products. My host mother is a housewife/homemaker just like I was informed. 

I have two younger host sisters - a 17-year-old first-grade high school student in the school where I will be teaching, and a 14-year-old first-grade middle school student. Both were shy at first, but have quickly taken to translating for both sides, putting every English word they have ever learned and retained into good use. This took considerable effort on their part. After a few sentences of successful translating, they would groan deeply and slump back into their chairs complaining of a headache. Oh, poor girls...

EATING HEALTHY WILL BE EASY HERE

I slept well last night, and woke up to a day that looked like this:

My host mom prepared these delicious sandwiches for breakfast. I was already too-happy to eat these, but then she also brought up a plateful of cherries and corn. There was also a glass of banana milk involved (basically milk with a whole banana blended into it).

I had hoped and prayed and made my request known to the Fulbright office that it was not necessary, but if there happened to be a Christian family in the area who could host me for the year, that this type of living arrangement might be best for me as far as settling in and helping me maintain my faith. Maintaining my faith while in Korea is extremely important to me, so I was very pleased to hear my Fulbright Co-teacher say that she had found a very nice family for me who were Christian and who ate very healthy.

HOW MY FULBRIGHT CO-TEACHER FOUND MY HOST FAMILY
Me: Wow, how did you find them?
Co-teacher: I posted flyers about...hmmm...a month ago. Nobody answered so I started to get worried. Luckily, before you got here, a student responded to the flyer and said her family could host an ETA. 
Me: Oh, wow! Close call. Thank you for arranging all this for me.
Co-teacher: No problem. It's my job.

So, it appears that the Fulbright office does not handle the homestay (like they had said during Orientation). I understand now why the OC Team had stressed the "It Depends" mantra so much, for everything.

It really does depend! On your co-teacher (whether they are going to put in the work reading and trying to meet your preferences), and on your potential, future homestay family (whether they are interested in hosting and actually step up to the plate).

Scriptures and the cross displayed quite prominently in the living room.

DIVINE APPOINTMENTS AND APARTMENTS
Things have aligned so well that I consider myself truly blessed to have this family!

I found out by talking to one of my host sisters that their family had just moved into this apartment - guess when? - a month ago.

A month ago right around the time my co-teacher posted flyers. A month ago when I had just barely arrived in Korea. Less than a month ago, my now-host sister saw the flyer at school and brought it home with her.

Host sister: [Laughing] My Dad say we moved to apartment for you. This apartment is for you!

If there ever was a truer statement...

After my very-healthy breakfast, I got up and walked around the apartment a bit.

The welcome bouquet my school had presented to me during  yesterday's Departure Ceremony. Those blue hydrangeas...

View of the apartment complex

In the afternoon, my sisters and I went to town to meet my Fulbright co-teacher. Our mission: to get me a cellphone.

On the back of the city bus with them. Host mom gave me her bus key to use

The department store we went to

The man who convinced my co-teacher, who then convinced me, to get a smartphone. 

NAVIGATING THE CELL PHONE PURCHASE
According to them, my iPhone 4S would not work in Korea. I had attended a workshop with a former ETA who said iPhone 4S AT&Ts should work with [device I couldn't remember]. I mentioned this to my co-teacher, and she then relayed the information to the clerk, but the clerk said that it was not possible. It did not help that I couldn't remember what the device was called.

Since there is wi-fi everywhere (my homestay has wi-fi galore!), I asked the clerk for the cheapest plan and most basic phone they had, intending to only have it at hand for emergencies. After nearly three hours of communicating and calculating various projected costs, he convinced me that getting the smartphone would actually ultimately be better for reasons x, y, z.

I am now the extremely reluctant owner of a second smartphone.

It's a pretty good deal, and my phone is a beautiful piece of technology, but I felt rushed and guilted into signing the contract on the spot, which is an awful feeling that's still sitting in the pit of my stomach.

PRO TIPS FOR FUTURE ETAs: 

• Go to the store having researched different phones and plans. Preferably not the day after arriving at the homestay.
• Talk to past and present ETAs about what phone arrangements/plans they had/are getting
• Do not sign a year-long contract if you have any reservations. It is okay! You can always return to a/the store another day, and you can always make it up to your co-teacher who will have traveled with you by buying them lunch.

The top of the mall had an amazing view of the ocean and Busan and Yeongdo connected by the bridge. They also had this neat cafe that ran out of ice so we couldn't order our patbingsu.

Very relaxing atmosphere

Bridge of Busan. I'm still a bit disoriented from basically everything so I have been taking pictures of even the most boring of maps and signage to help me visualize the space I'm at now.

Love locks. 

One word: rust.

Love notes?

Some serious lockage going on here.

All the keys are thrown in here

More signage

SPENDING TIME WITH MY CO-TEACHER AND HOST SISTERS
My co-teacher chilled with my host sisters and me until early evening - even treating us for lunch. I had the check in my hand and was about to wave the waiter over when she very deftly stole the bill from me and paid for everyone's meals. I was going to put up a fight, but I remembered that this might be a cultural point with her being the oldest in our group.

Later that night, my host family very eagerly introduced me to my host mother's side of the family over a delicious dinner.

During every meal, they remember that I prefer not to eat pork (for health reasons), and have taken special care to provide me with alternative dishes.

DINING WITH HOST MOM'S FAMILY & RELATIVES

I met a couple of host mom's nephews, both of whom were extremely shy around me. Host mom's older brothers, however, were not shy at all.

One of them asked me how old I thought he was. When I guessed 45, he burst out laughing and was clearly tickled that I thought he was much younger than his actual 60 years of age. And I wasn't even trying to flatter him...He really did just look that young! 

Host cousins and host sisters enjoyed the game I played with them over dinner, which was the "How Many of the 50 U.S. States Can You Name?" game. Collectively (including the adults), they named 15 states. Not bad!

After dinner, we went back to my host parents' apartment and had generous helpings of home-made patbingsu. I am in wonderland.