Dressing Up in a Hanbok for the CamKodian Inaugural Ceremony at HJC & My Multiple Roles as Greeter, Singer, and Dishwasher for the Evening

Since I came back from the states, all of the talk at Holy Joy's English Service seems to revolve around the Cambodian-Korean NGO they are working very hard to establish by next year. From zero Cambodians in attendance on Sundays, we now have anywhere between 5-20 in attendance during the worship or singing portion. After the singing, they are whisked off to another floor and another room at Holy Joy, where, I presume, they receive more information about how they can help make this NGO a successful reality for them, their families, their communities, and any other Cambodian who immigrates to Korea. 

During David Jibsanim's announcements, I learn that a few of the church leaders make regular (aka daily) visits to a location closer to the Cambodians' place of residence. There they hold Bible studies, and receive Korean language instruction - among other things beneficial to them (like help with establishing a Cambodian restaurant). Hearing this made me feel better, knowing that there was a steady and personal effort to connect with this particular group of foreigners in Korea. I applaud this church's deeply-concerted work to reach people, especially foreigners in the area, and share with them the love of Christ through practical means.

However, because I don't always understand what is going on around me and because a lot is lost in translation during service, I have more or less been feeling bewildered these past few months at Holy Joy - feeling excluded as another foreigner who does not share the same nationality as those on whose behalf all of the planning and outreach is aimed; silenced by the guilt I feel at the realization that my self-centeredness is likely preventing me from sharing in the awesome work that my church is doing to welcome others the way it has welcomed me (well, minus the establishment of a Filipino-American NGO, of course); and feeling a bit like it is only a matter of time before the English Service disappears altogether. 

With all of that said, I am doing what I can to combat feelings of not belonging by, at least, being a part of the behind-the-scenes work. 

THE CAMKODIAN INAUGURAL CEREMONY

For this event, I was asked to wear a Korean hanbok and greet our guests at the entrance of Holy Joy. With the help of a jibsanim and a samonim, I was ready within a few minutes.

Most of the people in attendance at tonight's CamKodian Inaugural event held at the basement sanctuary of Holy Joy Center

Cambodian Leaders visiting Korea. Church leaders took it upon themselves
to give them a tour of Busan and of Yeongdo upon their arrival

When the ceremony started at 4:00 p.m., I hurried over to the stage to sing a couple of songs.

Professor Gabriel and me singing

The senior pastor speaking to his foreign guests through a Cambodian translator.
Of course, since everything was in Korean-Cambodian, Cambodian-Korean, I had no way of understanding
any of the great things that were being said

A korean girl playing a traditional instrument

The extremely talented son of David Jibsanim performing for the evening

This couple sang beautifully!

Receptionists

Traditional Cambodian dance

Harmonica players

Our singers, who had traveled from Seoul that day and who returned to Seoul that very night back to their studies!

Dinner on the 8th floor

Saying grace before the meal

Some of our beautiful guests

Meanwhile, I had changed out of my hanbok and had donned on an apron, washing hundreds of dishes this evening. This kitchen was my dream kitchen, with its huge and deep sinks, flexible and powerful faucets, and ample storage and elbow room!

Out of all the roles I played this afternoon and evening, I was most comfortable and most confident in my role as dishwasher

This is the view of Nampo-dong just outside the church balcony 

I wish the CamKodia NGO the best! With this kind of dedication, I can see nothing but success in its future.

All Photos Courtesy of David Daeil Lee 

Post-Dinner Evening Stroll in Yeongdo's Coastal Trail with Host Mom

CHUSEOK HOLIDAY BEGINS!

Today is the start of my 5-day Chuseok vacation! The days leading up to this break were filled with questions about what my plans were.

With great excitement, I told other teachers that my plans were: ...*drum-roll please*...

Absolutely Nothing! 

DEALING WITH THE GUILT OF HAVING FREE TIME

I am free! This past year, I have struggled mightily against the guilt of being free to just relax. Being free to pause in my tracks. Being free to not have a schedule. Being free to not have an agenda. Being free for self-care. This past year, I have struggled with this peculiar guilt and am still learning and implementing ways to safeguard my sanity, my health, my time, and my energy. 

THE EVENING STROLL

MY SATURDAY CONSISTED OF ME...

...waking up slow and getting up late, eating brunch while Skyping my sweet Mama in Washington, and then spending the rest of the day reading, napping, watching video clips, napping, pinning parts of my dream home on Pinterest, napping again, waking up for dinner with my Korean host mom, washing dishes, doing laundry, and then taking a walk together afterwards.  

The evening was beautiful - from the moment we stepped outside the apartment complex and saw the near-full moon to the very end, when we sat facing the twinkling lights of the Busan coastline and chatted in the near-dark. I made verbal observations about how much safer Korea is compared to the Philippines (or even compared to the U.S.). 

THE SAFE HAVEN THAT IS KOREA

Walking around at night, I don't feel like I have to constantly look behind my back, or remember my Arnis or Taekwondo, or keep a deathly-grip on my smartphone in case it is snatched. I feel safe here! This safety gives me more freedom to enjoy the walk, breathe in the scenes and the fresh air in one gulp, and just appreciate Connie's brisk walk and personality.

There was a small group out for a night picnic and actually grilling something delicious in the dark. The smoke and the aroma added a touch of warmth to the tingling coolness of the night air. Among many others, we passed by a young family, the father carrying a baby strapped across his torso, while his wife walked arm-in-arm beside him. The sight of this family warmed and gladdened my heart! At one point, Connie collided with what looked to be a disoriented wasp and ended up squashing it with her next step by accident. Very unfortunate fellow.

We returned to the apartment to find that my host dad had arrived, and was hanging our clothes up to dry in the balcony - quite an unusual sight in Korea, I think, especially among the older married folks! 

Living By the "Don't Compare" Mantra Outside of the Fulbright Family & Encouraging 2nd Host Mom to Stop Comparing Herself to 1st Host Mom

THE "DON'T COMPARE" MANTRA
What we always hear in Fulbright is "Don't Compare" - referring to ETAs who might be tempted to look at each others' differing living accommodations and teaching situations and become discouraged or resentful of the lot they've been given during their grant year. The message makes so much sense, is so often forgotten and just as often recalled that it can be heard reverberating in various forms throughout the year - in Facebook posts, social media captions, hashtags, blog posts, and during coffee dates, and sleepy conference heart-to-hearts.

Comparison comes naturally, which is why we should be all the more vigilant in keeping ourselves from being caught in its unhappy trap. I struggle against it, and so do others - among them the second host mom I am living with now, who, upon hearing about my first host mom's mad cooking skills, has been quick and unrelenting in criticizing what she produces in the kitchen and places on the table.

BATTLE OF THE HOST MOMS
My second host mom also works in education, so we both get home right about the same time. She is always apologizing to me for not having dinner prepared on time, or, if dinner is prepared, for not having delicious and nutritious enough dinner.

I have no idea what she is talking about.

Her cooking is delicious and nutritious! In keeping with a truly Korean cuisine, there are always at least five side dishes on the table besides soup and rice. She also never fails to serve fruit for dessert. In the U.S. "dessert" for me was this exciting event that involved cake or ice cream, brownies or walnut cookies. Or all of those combined. Though I miss this kind of rich, chocolately dessert, I much prefer the fruit desserts because there is never guilt from indulging. (Something to tuck away for my future family!).

I am not very verbal when giving praises, but since moving here I have learned to be more so. If the soup tastes like something I had been craving for but couldn't describe, I tell her. If she peeled the apples with what I consider unusual dexterity, I tell her. If the seafood she served on the table is cooked to perfection, I tell her! 

I don't want my host mom to compare herself to my first host mom. It hurts me to hear her say negative things about the food she cooks, and am trying my best to convince her that what she's provided for me is enough. More than enough. 

Lately, I have taken to hanging around her when she's in the kitchen. Just hanging around - looking for opportunities to affirm her - however random and small. This is the context of the video embedded above. I was so interested in the way she made kimbap! (Also recorded it for the sake of my mom back in the States, who is always asking for recipes of Korean dishes she sees on my Facebook posts!). 

In quick sum, don't compare, folks! You are enough. You are more than enough.